The Fear brings an iota of Relieve

Fear Fear… it’s good my friend.. that will set u r moderate life style afire. If you don’t fear anything u r nothing. Fear fuels u up to go beyond u r limits and perform miracles in your field which would never have been possible under normal circumstances. Fear of failing in exams pumps me up to give an extra hour form my precious sleep to study, but for my friends it was the fear of not getting distinction that keeps them awake all night . Fear nourishes u irrespective of the environment u dwell in. Fear in life should not be taken as a punishment or a force which pulls u down but it should be taken as a challenge to blossom.
The very reason I’m venting this into words is b’coz I’m living in a constant fear of ruining my career in present Work Place, the fear of losing whatever I know in coding , the logic, the creative part in me, the fear of killing the baby programmer in me which is destined to be a man in future. Now this Fear comes as a relieve to me, a blessing in disguise which prompts me too look for a new and a better WP. It won’t allow me to sit idle until it has done its part. People have all sort of fears , fear of getting hit while crossing a road makes u extra careful when doing so, fear of u r credit card bill crossing u r monthly salary keeps a check in u r love for shopping n partying. Fear of getting married.. that’s the big one “Baap of all Fears” which is presently haunting most of my friends who don’t want to get married and fear of not getting a proper bride which troubles some of my friends who wants to get married .With marriage is attached the fear of not getting a proper value in the market(Dowry) in case of arranged marriage and for lovers is the fear of getting married with family consent. The IT market as the pundits says is on slow down and will face lot’s of downsizing and less iteration hike as compared to its history- provoke each and every IT professional to give more than 100% in their work and stick to the same company as of for now.
Today is the V day— ‘Lovers Days’ – Ladka-Ladki will meet an enjoy the day with a terse of fear in everyone ,how long will this relationship last? will it go the final stage ‘Marriage’ and some will have the fear that by next V day will they be with the same partner . In both the cases fear acts as a catalyst to help them achieve what they desire for the next V day—new partner or marry the present V day partner. :). So peoples take this fear as source of inspiration to move forward rather than taking it as a obstacle in u r life. Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all.. have rocking n loving evening. And for peoples with no partner .. all d best to have one in near future and hope by next Valentine u find one. Keep Fearing.

Scribble

This piece may appear to readers as a manuscript written by Franz Kafka , but no my writing is not that lucrative and meaningful as his. I’m writing this b’coz it’s been long since I wrote something, reason may be many- Office work had carved out the creative part from me although the percentage was less, late night slogging , waking up late in the morning b’coz of this chilling weather , spending the rest of the time playing HITMAN after returning from office, depressed by the New Year celebration ,o oh –no celebration, planned few things for the eve but all crumbling down at last moment , no one to blame – it was fate which eluded GOA trip from us. SO THOUGHT OF SCRIBBLING LESS OF SENSE AND MORE OF NONSENSE WHICH PRESENTLY HAS A HOLD ON ME.

Planning to go home Feb end, but sill leave not applied , tickets not booked, delaying it, mapping it to the next day -every day, but that next day never comes- god knows why? I know the result of it, will book the tickets the day when the price will be very high.. that’s how I am.. and then crib over it. Need to change Work-Place but not able to study , so that’s also on a hold, wake up in the morning fondled whole night by the dreams, which gives me hope and after opening my eyes I brutally kill those hopes with my own monstrous hand. I wanted to buy a car, everything was planned but that’s also put on hold b’coz of some vicarious reasons.

Idle time, I’m all lost in contemplations – happy ones though, thinking of having this –that and off course if I had that also then it would make my life wonderful, planning of doing this for career perspective, doing that for health perspective, planning of doing something which would end my long season of sleeping wid books and waking up alone in the morning. Today is my Result day – although I know my stand before hand but still hope is there, that the people may do some mishap n I may get good result—Height of optimism. I’m nervous too, don’t know why.. probably after 2 long years , I would get judged on all India basis.

Enough of it—I guess otherwise this will turn into loads of crap :-), and I’m hungry too so going for lunch, can’t ask my friends to wait for a little more time.

Happy New Year to everyone. Hope this year everyone gets their dreams fulfilled even not all of it but at least some part .

GBU!!!!

Johnny met Sonny :)

Saturday evening , scheduled to meet at CCD, ‘Date’ Ya Ya , call it a date. He was looking at his watch, waiting for ‘Sonny’, was before time and that too half n hour early, ‘that’s bad’ he said to himself, as it shows desperation n gals don’t like desperate guys. Excuses are needed to give Sonny for coming early. His mind started recalling all the Bollywood excuses, he decided whatever he picks from those list it should be terse. Hmm..better to say that “5 min phele hee ayaa hun”. Ya that’s better..’Terrific Johnny’ , he said to himself.

But what to do now, he swept a look covering every corner of the CCD , people yacking at every table, no one sitting idle and alone, suddenly a thought hit him “What if any of his frnd see him there sitting all alone”, although none of his frnd will ever come to CCD on Saturday evening that’s the time to booze at pub. “Forget it” he said to himself , will see when it comes.

He had waited long to meet her, weeks of messaging and talking on phone late nights, spoiling his sleep, all these crap things he thought, had brought him to this moment, this brought a smile(crooked one) on his face . Never seen her before , so decided on a dress code which would be helpful in recognizing each other. The lyrics of the song from the movie “MDK” was flowing in his head . “Andheki anjanai si, pagli si deewani si, na jane kaise hogi woh”. Sonny’s voice was all charming, sexy and glittering , from that he framed a image of her in his mind/heart, though voice and looks have no synergy, but that’s the way one’s imagination defines and relate things.

All of a sudden his Nokia N72 started making noise, disturbing his thought process, it was her, he picked it up, “I’m there, Where r u ?” she said, “Inside , corner table” he said , as his heart started pounding heavily. She walked inside the CCD passing all the tables and fast approaching him, he raised his hand and his eyes scanning her as if looking for bugs in her, “She is hot and certainly beddable!!!”(courtesy –Company of women), Aaah!! That’s the problem of reading Khushwant Singh (No offense ).

Sonny: Hi!
Johnny: Hello!

Sonny: “Sorry I was late”.
Johnny: “Na na, I’m early , you are on time”. What was that ? I never saw that coming, minutes before I was looking for excuses and here I am admitting.

He was still staring at her, as she was going thru the Menu. “I hate this silence” he said. Someone should initiate to get out of it. What to say????

Sonny : “Let’s order something , I’m hungry ”.
Johnny: Gr8 she broke the ice, gals and eating are Synonyms I guess. “Ya please go ahead ”.

Sonny : One Chicken Sandwich with cheese , one French fries and one ice lemon tea.
Johnny: God I guess she ordered for both of us.

Sonny: “Yeh Johnny”. What for u man.?
Johnny: Only ice lemon tea. Why “only” in that statement, that’s for sarcasm , he giggled.

Sonny: Actually I skipped my lunch , was busy with something.
Johnny: It’s fine Yaar. “Busy” in what? It came out of my mouth, the very thought of its consequences chilled my blood, b’coz this mark the entry of unrelated , uninterested bulk of nonsense hitting my ears shortly of which I was least bothered.

Sonny: Nothing of that importance, just routine weekend stuff.
Johnny: That’s it, I thought. She suddenly took me off the hook. I was happy. “So..” before I could complete my sentence -her phone started ringing.

Sonny : Sorry, Excuse me.
Johnny: Hmm!! That will give me some time now to glare at her and reformulate myself. She was beautiful, minimal make up, no jazzy jewels. Simple yet appealing in her Blue jeans and white T-shirt. She was laughing ,that made me angry who was on other side, that reminded me of the late night talks where I made her laugh. Finally She hung up. I was about to Ask “Who was it”.

Sonny: It was bro. U were saying something.
Johnny: Ya, I forgot.

Sonny: What?
Johnny: Actually the throw of u r beauty are killing my brain cells and my senses. “Bravo Johnny” that’s the way.

Sonny: She started smiling. "U r too much" she said

And that was just the beginning of long awaited love for both of them, lot’s of such meeting that marked the era of new phase in life for them. The ‘Lust’ of the first date with Sonny was converted into everlasting ‘Love’ for Johnny.

They still meet and talk on phone late nights but it’s not the talk or words which connects them. Basically Words define Us but Love connects Us.

Kholo Kholo!!!

Song from Tare Zameen Par. Well this is a unique post as everyone does a MV review or Music Review of that MV. Here I ‘m doing the song review ,will give u a weirdo impression about me, but that won’t stop me from voicing my feeling . The Song is stewed in me, it has replaced my morning raga “Comfortably Numb-Pink Floyd ” which was ruling my personal charts for a long time.

Music !!!
Music is like second name for life, without music I’ll be lifeless but still breathing . It’s so much a part of my daily routine that I used to have set of songs(playlist) for different moods, Alas! mood swing r quite frequent for me so my playlist and even the songs on those playlist keeps on changing on hourly basis so dropped the idea of maintaining one. Better way is to pick the song depending upon the liking that very moment from the pool of songs which I have in my 320 GB hard disk.

Song selection!!
My ears are accustomed to every genre of songs, be it Gazals , Hindi movie songs, Pop, Classic, Rock, Hard Rock, to some extent hip-hop also. Any kind of noise which is soothing to my ears , I simply love them, n start listening to it ,b’coz after the acceptance of u r ear, u start paying heed to lyrics, vocal n music which formulate it.

Desparation!!!
“Kholo kholo darwaje, parde karo kinare, khoote se bandhi hai hawa , milke chudao yaaron” slowly but steadily started pleasing my ears. The promos of the new Aamir Khan (I hope I wrote the spelling correctly as he keeps on adding “As” to his name) had taken rapid speed n the airing of the song was also frequent , so used to hear this a lot on TV. Suddenly I started enjoying it n wanted to listen it non-stop n complete version of it until I was fully satisfied or u can say my thirst for the song was quenched. But I was hapless as it was weekend, no net connection at home, n month end so could not afford it also. So has to wait till Monday to go to office n download it. Never in my 2 years of IT life I had awaited so eagerly for Monday.

Reached office, Monday morning downloaded the song, played it and listened it for some time , than thought of passing it to others aficionado friends. They would certainly love it I thought. And yes they do appreciated the song.

The Song!!!
It’s a class act ,the song will reach u step by step once u increase the frequency of listening it on daily basis. Song of inspiration, song of encouragement, song filled with energy, song to hear in solitude as it will give u a good company . Guitar base, soft strumming of strings which slowly turns into soft-rock. After a long time Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy has given a track which is not based solely on Music rather he has paid homage to the mood n feel of the song . Lyrics by Prasoon Joshi is soulful , relentless sync in the lyrics goes perfectly well with guitar strumming in the Background. Check out these lines.

Tu dhoop hain jham se bikhar
Tu hai nadee o bekhabar
Beh chal kahin ud chal kahin
Dil khush jahan teri toh manzil hai wahin.

Motivates u to open up to the world fearless, accessing whatever u always dreamed of n which made u happy. He might have recited these lines keeping in mind that it’s a child movie. But man this works for the younger ones too. Well if u feel that it’s a child’s song than have a look at this irresistible piece of writing .

Tujh mein agar pyaas hai
Baarish ka ghar bhi pass hai
Roke tujhe koi kyon bhala
Sang sang tere aakash hai

These lines are excellently sung by Raman Mahadevan, I have heard him for the first time n believe me his singing ability had left a mark on me and will certainly leave on others too. Giving melodious touch to the song n soft rock vocal when he needed to emphasize more on the lyrics part rather than flow of the music. He is smooth with the flow of music n has given full justice to the Song. Can say the synergy of lyrics n Vocal worked for S.E.L in creating a master piece.

By the time the song ends u will be fully energized n charged . The lines “Tu Dhoop hai” are repeated in the end of the song though a bit different ,as it has drum beats along with guitar as its base component. So guys/gals give it at least a hearing . As if for now I don’t know how long I’ll enjoy this song but presently “I’m Loving it re”.

Office after 10 day break!!!

10 in the morning ..Lift door opened ,greeted by the guard personnel, I signed the register, swiped the card and enter the office after 10 days of vacation. The office was decorated by Jingle bells and miniature Santa Clauses , oh it was a Christmas celebration –preparation. Feeling of anguish creped on me, as they had not decorated the office for Diwali - Dussera and here they r celebrating Christmas one month before . AAh!!! Am I in INDIA or somewhere in Atlantics??

As I entered the office premises, something irk me, everything around me was moving in Slow Motion – I guess I have entered into the room with a different time frame . Suddenly I felt that these ppl have grown 10 years older in 10 days or have I grown 10 years younger in these 10 days. Silence so profound which riveted me on analyzing others faces as to what had happened to them in these 10 days. Before going on leave they were chirpy block of Software Engineer and now they can be labeled as the “Mugwumps” . Expressionless faces, covered with stress, profuse archaic as if incarcerated . Oh god !!! Help me I think I have entered into the place of UNDEAD, Help Me PLZ…!!! .

Each n Every ppl appear to me a Ghost-Daemon all specialized in different tactics , tricks and posses power to turn the “New one into One of them” . They don’t speak ,but still were able to communicate as the staring eyes increases from pairs to many without a single word uttered.

Got into my cubicle, got my laptop on desk , put in the Network cable , logged into office mail n gatlk almost simultaneously . More than 100 virgin mails where residing on my mailbox ,waiting for their BrideGroom. Suddenly I felt surrounded by my team mates and my colleagues as if they have come to Welcome me Back in the graveyard. Before I could make my move they started bombarding me with questions – How was u r vacation? How was u r Diwali? How is everyone back home? Sweets kahan hai? Hey hey !! wait guys… let me breathe …!! Before I could retort, another set of questions were fired. Kab aaye? Flight se aaye ya train se aaye? How is the climate back at home- Cold? Hot? Raining? . I was desperate..wanted to avoid ,ignore these questions…so I turned my attention to the laptop screen. To my dismay !! I was attacked with the same set of question thru world wide web also, PPL sitting on different location was using the messenger to virtually F*** me off. No respite for me , for further 1 hr. Finally they left me, I guess they were satisfied that now I’m one of them. As they left me tattered in pieces, biting me everywhere from body to mind to soul..nothing was left untouched, I looked into their eyes , got a msg “Welcome to The world of UNDEAD”. That’s the way they talk ..thru Eyes..now I have started understanding them.

Oblivious of the effect they had on me, I tried to reconcile ..closed my eyes , their haunting faces, were still there in my memory. I stood up from my seat , walked to the washroom, saw my reflection on the mirror … Could not believe my eyes I was fast turning into one of them. I splashed water on my faces , rubbed the face with hanker chief and got back to my place. My mind started showing me pictures as if it was trying to get back my lost memory.

Very soon I realized everything and my Role. AAH!!! I was one of them before I left for vacation, that long period had energized me, filled me with life , fun , happiness , joy. That’s why I was not able to recognize my friends in office and I felt sorry as I labeled them as Ghost, Daemons and OLD ones. I guess my colleagues didn’t tolerate my indecent behavior and adopted severe means to bring back my “YAD DASH”.

My thought process was interrupted by a signal which diverted my attention to the entrance door, another one enter the office after a long vacation , one of me few hours back, We stood up from our seats, communicating to each other thru eyes and then together we marched towards his cubicle to “Turn him into one of us”.

Fighter........!!!!!

Daylight shutting down, Night marching in leaps , cultivating frustration , suffused with regret, abrading all the sense , not knowing what to do –mind wandering to distant tracts….Finally something from inside..dictated… Wake up!!! Obeying the command ..Dragged the “Body” ..tired from the traffic, tortured by the daily monotonous routine of office, out of the BED clearing all the smoke fumes, opening the room door…. And deciding.. need a break from this haunting contemplation …NEED A DRINK!!!!!.

This is how his day “End” every day, any day , almost each day. This is the ballad of his life where he remember all the bad memories and wipe out all the good memories. Don’t know how long he’ll carry on leaving life like this ..torturing himself , putting himself on rigorous treachery ..where he betray all his dreams, pay no heed to his laziness , uncanny n unrealistic approach towards anything he undertake and in the end messing up everything.

Think, Plan, determination, motivation, attitude everything generated, everything ready for an Execution ..but when the time comes to deliver ..He find himself a big time loser…seems nothing is falling on places.. Putting all the Blame on Luck, Damn it’s averting …dragging him back to the same dump where he has been laying …don’t know since when.

Trying , trying n Trying to pull himself out …trying to reformulate himself from the pieces, which r scattered all over, trying to achieve a form which has a identity . He has never lost hope in himself, trying different tricks to put the Mind n Heart in sync. Struggling each day but still fighting …..with the world, with his treasonous feelings, with his work , with all the demons betwn him n his dreams , with everyone who believes otherwise and bate him down. He knows he will die fighting against all odds and that too fiercely. These will not slow him down in marching towards what he believes in n wat is presently eludes him.

Bravo DUDE!!!..this World don’t need Survivors they need Fighters. The testament of u r success will enchante one n all.

"Win -Dream" "Lose-nightmare" .. Mother of all series.

Long awaited series is coming up…”Pakistan Touring India” . A treat for the commentators , spectators, betters. Well this is a Diwali n Eid gift to the two communities which r sadly distinguished in India. This series will be a manifestation of why Cricket lovers all over the world has a vogue for Indo-Pak matches.Both teams have a point to prove .

There has been babbling all over among cricket critics that TTWC win was a fluke and to defeat Pakistan in the full format of 50 overs will be a uphill task . So Mr Dhoni(Indian Captain) gear up u have a point to prove i.e. “Win is never a fluke”. Pakistan…well after their series loss to SA which they were almost certain to win, change of fortune n a typical Sub Continent crash in the last encounter..cost them the match and the series too , are under tremendous pressure. Pressure of playing with India, pressure imposed by the Indian crowd on match day, pressure by the media(Pakistan as well as lit bit off India). So Mr Shoaib (Pakistan Captain)leave the prudery and charge u r self with what Pakistan is famous for….”Aggressiveness”.

Although there is 50-50 chance for both the teams of winning the series..but like every Indian.. I’m certainly looking forward for a complete whitewash .. I know I’m demanding …so let’s come out of my whim and analysis the key players of both the Teams from the fringes of favoritism on neutral Grounds.

Pakistan---“Expect the unexpected”

Every player is a key ..B’coz look at his history of winning streaks..whenever they won ..most of the time it was a team effort..no individuality.
Shoaib Akhtar is back…believe me his aggressiveness n speed will be the key to the Pakistan success in dismantling the Indian openers. He has been down from last few months ..but now is the time to wash all his sins.. If he performs he will be a Hero or else a History ,another chapter in Pakistan cricket will get closed-- unnoticed.
Shoaib Mallik---Boss he has been doing wonders with the Bat once he started dictating Pakistan team as a Captain. Watch out for him in this series he will brandish.
Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan – they r the two pillars of Pakistan Batting line up. It will be a pain in the camp to dislodge them.
Mohammad Asif- Hmmmm..no words for his talent only thing which I can say to Pitch creators don put grass on the pitch.. Otherwise he will make the life of each n every Indian miserable. Thank god he is not playing the initial Two match.

India—“Glorified by the TTWC win”

Always has been a team of one man show…Which helped them to win..whether on Bowling dept or Batting. So no doubt that this time also they depend on someone to deliver the fruits of Victory. They won TTWC ..it was not a fluke ..it was an out n out team Effort leaded by Dhoni n Yuvraj…

Yuviii---aah out n class… If runs flow from his Stick than there is no stopping … He is a master craftsman. People hate him for his attitude n I luv him for that.. If u don’t have attitude u are No one . This is the quality which differentiate u from masses. He lifts the team whether be his fielding or batting to some aspect bowling too until Mascrenas massacred him.
Sachin, Sourav, Zaheer—I put them under one bracket as they are the old horses ..we will look from them “Stability”.
Robin--- God he kills the bowler …with his willow…Difficult to handle when in Flow… tremendous style of batting.
Above all Dhoni--- He is the captain, leader..must must set an example for other.. A very imp series for him. If he crosses this hurdles then he will fall into the elite category of captains.
Irfan--- India need this man to perform at any cost. If he fails in any of the match ..then probably God save us from losing.

Tension is creeping up Guys…as Pakistan has already crucified the Delhi Team convincingly. Will c whether we will have nightmare or dreams at nite.

All d best to Both teams. We expect a good encounter at least…..No one sided match I guess..But Still the odds are favoring India…Big advantage to Home team. Oh yes i missed on a point..Pakistan would be haapy Dhoni had made an untimely visit to the barber shop.. So no luck factor this time.. Go for the Kills guys,unleash our adrenalin .

Schedule of the Action Packed November and first of week of December.

1st ODI: India v Pakistan at Guwahati - Nov 5, 2007 DREAM
2nd ODI: India v Pakistan at Mohali - Nov 8, 2007 NIGHTMARE
3rd ODI: India v Pakistan at Kanpur - Nov 11, 2007DREAM
4th ODI: India v Pakistan at Gwalior - Nov 15, 2007DREAM
5th ODI: India v Pakistan at Jaipur - Nov 18, 2007NIGHTMARE

1st Test: India v Pakistan at Delhi - Nov 22-26, 2007 DREAM
2nd Test: India v Pakistan at Kolkata - Nov 30-Dec 4, 2007
3rd Test: India v Pakistan at Bangalore - Dec 8-12, 2007