Eternal Love (I)- The Intro....

50–60-70– 80-90-100 there it goes -it was one of the fewest occasion his Pulsar crossed the 100 mark barrier on the Delhi-Noida high way.“Bakshi slow down” his friend sitting at the back was shouting at the top of his voice but nothing could deter him now, as this was his way of celebrating.

Celebration – yup this was his exotic way of celebrating a unique accomplishment. Well this celebration was not for coming 1^st in class or cracking the prestigious IIT exams or any medical Entrance or any other normal events which triggers any kind of celebration. It was something special – a kind of accomplishment in which lies his vanity -that was dating gals and then pinning them down. The crown ‘Casanova’ was bestowed upon him by his friends and some of his admirers also tagged him as real time SRK. Well this celebration was for another girl falling for his charisma.

Mr Rohan Bakshi was not the same person initially when he landed in Delhi, he did his 10^th and 12^th from a small school in a small town in Chhattisgarh. Typical youth coming to Delhi for coaching so that he may get through any good Engineering college priority being IIT. His friend use to tell him that he landed on wrong side of the country, he should be in Mumbai pursuing a career in Bollywood or modeling rather slogging for engineering. He used to ignore them and some time will burst laughing on their marks. He was talented, a very good singer, a very good story teller, a good mimic, had loads of jokes in his stocks which could please any one in this world.

The first year of his struggle was in vain, he couldn’t crack IIT and because of his confidence, he didn’t even sit for other Exams. He felt bad asking his parents to support him for the second time preparation. This guilt and need for financial assistance brought him to Call centre job. He found everything related with the job very luring and soothing- night job, good money, hot- broad minded gals, minimum qualification for the post and above all he will get time in morning for his classes and studies. This job changed many things for him, his Enng preparation took a sudden break , he started liking gals, all the parties and outing which he had with his colleagues changed his perception towards gals . Now he knows how to handle them and what pleases them, he has become the master in the act of dating gals and then sleeping with them. Nothing in his life now was more important than gals. Before he could realize he has already developed some kind of addiction for girls, he would do anything just to have the company of gal -in short he was the “Ranjith of bollywood “ only difference was that he won’t indulge in any kind of sinful activity, he believed in everything happening with mutual understanding-no force.

All the gals he dated ,with none he was emotionally attached nor did he love anyone. He never used to feel bad or guilty on breaking anyone’s heart; even he used to make marriage promises but in the end it doesn’t even matter. This has now become his life style and he loved every bit of it. Every day a new challenge. new gal , a new style for trapping her. None of his relationship lasted very long nor did it took him much time to date a new girl.

Everything was smooth in his life but somewhere a tornado was approaching him…..

She was a typical Delhi gal, she was in 12^th std but instead of concentrating on her career she dreamed of dating the smartest guy in the whole world, well her dream has no boundaries but facing the reality she decided to narrow it down to Delhi. She's the spoiled brat, use to watch movies-bunking the tuitions. Grabbing extra money from home for extra tuitions and using those money in beauty parlor and buying dresses, spending the time with other gals in the happening places of Delhi like disco, coffee joins and other places where you get the maximum possibility of picking up a hot dude. She used to do all the things which even guys would dare to do at that age …. That's Sonal Muteja.

Seeing the world in altogether different canvas, where everything is multi-dimensional filled with colors which have no meaning in itself but they are there because they need to be there. Never believed in love and hated those gals who believed in ‘Sex after marriage’ or those gals who believed in QSQT and DDLJ. Only thing she liked about DDLJ was Switzerland and SRK style of flirting. Rest all was crap for her. She believes in dumping the guy before he can even think of that. She totally and completely believes in one-night stand. First drag, first booze, first date, first night out, first BF, first dump she loved every bit of his life which was out of box and nothing normal in it.

Like Rohan, Sonal also has a unique reason to celebrate. Dumping his Boy Friend calls for a party she hits the discotheques with his frnd , and at home it will be another late night Birthday party at his friends place. Her friends use to say that she is very lucky to have such excuses work every time and she would retort –“ Luck favors the daring and the daring will get the best F*** of life”.
A gal every guy would want as a GF but dare to fall in love or have her as wife.

In one of the disco's she ran into him or can say he ran into her-come on....anyways they both ran into each other and they never new that this would have a huge impact on their lives..........

Sonal: Hi!
Rohan:Heloooo!
Rohan:Single?
Sonal: Nope.
Rohan: where is he??
Sonal: Don't worry , he won't kick you for talking with me.
Rohan: ha ha , No i was just concerned that i may not kick him , if he doesn't allow me to talk with you .

She smiled and then both of them hit the dance floor.....

To be contd......

Choose Life

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Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television,
Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got a fucking IT JOB which pays you hell lot of money?

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From long I needed some kind of break (Vacation)- probably to settle few days on the jungles of Himalaya , to visualize the simmering promises and images that I see glittering in the sky , to solve the mysteriously written life by god and to some extent by me. Then I realized that with my untended intellect had to lean on the crutch of faith to negotiate the inscrutability of life.

Could not have defined it better than the above short poem by John in Trainspotting .



PS:courtesy Trainspotting - John Hodge . If one is not getting the feel of this poem then plz do watch the Movie at least initial 20 minutes.

Sporty weekend -hangover – Jaane Tu …ya jane na.

Loads happened last weekend, full drunk on Friday night, had debates with friends that ‘adjustment’ and ‘compromise’ are same. One of my roomie missed the chances of going onsite b’coz of some idiotic and ‘F’ reason. So alcohol was the only thing with anodyne properties in this abrupt situation which can soothe him, well chicken would also have done the trick but we choose Whiskey. Oh yes we tried to encourage him but even our empathy were not sufficient to calm him down – the drinks did it and after gulping down few pegs he snored heavily. “Rest for the disjunct soul”. I was the last one to entertain the guests, but finally I also gave up on the crap discussion and retired to my room, leaving others to carry on.

It would be unfair if I don’t mention the 'friends' that were missed that nite, Guys partying seems to be boring without u ppl.

Woke up on Saturday morning with the worst hangover ever I guess, well every time I had the same feeling that it is worse than the previous hangover. Promises ‘no to drinks’ then changing the promise again to ‘less drink’. Head ache, body pain and above all had to go for Jane Tu..ya jane na – scheduled at fun cinemas 10 km from my flat at 12.30 afternoon.

Huge expectation from the movie but the movie was a result of mix bag of the previous movies like ‘Chalte Chalte’ , ‘Tujhe Meri Kasam’ and to some extend ‘Socha na Tha’. Actually we thought that it would be a college flick, but it turned out to be friendship – romantic movie. Imran was good – perfect launch pad for him and he may not be as good as Aamir/Hrithik (in their 1st mv) but he is much better than lot of other kiddo (new comer) in the block. The music is nice, the comic part is kool, Rathna Pathak is incredible, there is some slow n boring patches in the middle part of the movie but still worth watching.

Came back from the Theatre, saw the pole position for the Sunday race (British Grand Prix), it was unusual. It was Heikki Kovalainen for the first time in his career taking the pole position. Watched another clash between the ‘Williams’ sisters in the Wimbeldon final the ‘big sis’ proving better for the ‘lil sis’, winning the title for consecutive time.

Slept well and early Saturday night, woke up early Sunday morning, finished the office work quickly knowing that the afternoon would be sporty hectic.
Asia cup final – India loosing miserably to Sri Lanka thanks to their new star Mendis. No more writing on this, it will unleash my wrath at BCCI.
F1 - Lewis Hamilton wins his home race, the final championship standing with 9 races left is amazingly well balanced.

1. Lewis Hamilton- British- McLaren-Mercedes -48

2. Felipe Massa - Brazilian- Ferrari - 48

3. Kimi Räikkönen - Finnish- Ferrari -48

4. Robert Kubica - Polish- BMW Sauber - 46

But….. The star of the Sunday Evening / Late night was Wimbledon Final, the clash of the titans, the clash of skill and determination, the clash of class and the youth, the clash of world no 1 and world no 2, the clash between the great Roger Federer and the improving Rafael Nadal. What a match it was , Roger hitting aces at crucial points, Nadal running like a rabbit on the baseline firing the ball in, Roger trying to hit winners but most of the time he found Nadal at the base line hitting the ball with his typical forehand spin shot or powering the ball with his two handed backhand. No match for Nadal in the first 2 sets, but Roger won’t go down so easily, took the 3^rd set to tie breaker and won it. Similar things happened in the follow up set but this time Nadal missed on many championship point and Roger again saved his run for the 6^th consecutive title to equal Bjorn Borg’s record for 6 straight Wimbledon titles.

Before the Match

For me I was supporting Nadal but wanted Federer to win, my friend sitting by myside question my such weirdo kind of desire but the bottom line was I don’t want any of them to loose.

All set for the 5^th and final set, deduce-advantage has now become the routine, with no player ready to allow the other to break. What more can you ask for a final, grueling display of skill, stamina and mental strength. Finally after four+ hrs (not including the 2 + hours of rain delay) epic battle ended , with Wimbeldon seeing a new holder of the cup- Rafael Nadal. He crumbled to the ground in jubilation and tears, did some trekking stuffs to meet his parents and family sitting in the stands.

Nadal won 6-4,6-4,6-7,6-7,9-7 becoming the only player after Bjorn Borg to win both Wimbledon and the French Open in the same year. This year is for Spain -another reason to celebrate after Torres sensational goal which helped them to win a major title in 44 years - Euro Cup '08.

After the Match - Perfect spirit displayed thru out the match and even after the match, both player complementing each other in their short speech.

Smoked the last drag – delighted by the fact that I was lucky to watch such a final and then off to bed.

The Rear Window

Mom: Why u bathing now?
I was silent, was getting late and didn’t want to start an argument with mom.

Me: Mom!! Get my jeans n that white round neck t-shirt out.
Mom: White t-shirt, no no.. it took me ½ hour to clean it, u ruin it every time u wear it.

Me: PLZ!!!
Mom: Ok! But u have to clean it, I’m not cleaning it.
Me: ok, no probs.

Came out , went straight to the mirror , to see how fair I was looking J. NA na .. not kool, applied “Fair n Lovely” , rotated my skull in all direction so that every part visible above my torso was covered. My friends were shouting in front of the house, “Hurry Up ”,We are getting late. Since half n hour I was telling them 5 minutes. But that won’t deter me to examine myself one more time. Hmmm… not bad, a little powder (Talcum) would make me perfect. All that time, mom was standing behind me and noticing everything. Finally she couldn’t resist.

Mom: What are you doing? u r not getting married today nor going to attend one. Then why so much of decoration n fuss!!
Me: Decoration!!!

No no.. clam down… no arguments .. already late. Will handle this “Decoration “adjective once back.

Mom: God!! What has happened to this Boy “Cricket khelne ke liye itna tyari kar raha hai and that too in colony, just in front of the house.”

Now here’s the background. A new neighbor has just moved in last week, just diagonal to my house, she was slim n fair (now u know why so much of prep for looking fair) with beautiful eyes n wicked smile, wicked- b’coz the first time our eyes met yesterday she gave me a wicked smile. Don’t know what was her relationship with the Uncle and Aunty ..who cares? May be Daughter may be not .

Yeah !! I was not in the best of shape that time… so what would one expect of a boy coming from 7 hours of torture at school and that too the day when he has GAME’S period in the last, shirt half in half out, one lace tied - other exploring the universe, tie pulled down to the belly, hair in a mess, bottle in one hand - rotating it at full speed.

This full preparation was to erase the impression she must have developed yesterday of me and to ensnare her. Got out of the house, with full swing of the hair, just like a hero making an entry in to the Movies for the 1^st time. Y this b’coz I had already seen her watching from the window. Thanks to my friends for giving me such publicity … they where shouting my name from half n hour. J

Frnd1: B****… kya kar raha tha be?

Taken a back…

Me: No slang today yaar.

They were shocked , b’coz first I didn’t greet them by my typical slang and above all king of slang is telling no to it..

Frnd2: What???? Are u okay.?
Me: Ya ya.. let’s start.

Was under-performing today ..no sixes no fours ..no wickets... We have rules while playing at colony. Although there were many but this one is important.

Rule: If a batsman hit the ball into someone’s garden, he is out and he has to get the ball also.

Now u can imagine why I was hitting no sixes n fours. This was the 4^th time I hit the ball in her garden, Previous 3 times I didn’t gather the courage to talk to her, this time no excuse b’coz it may be last as the Sun was setting down and I may not get another chance to bat. She was there in the window thru out our evening’s play, few time off, but most of the time glued to the seat, watching us play.

Me: Hi! U love cricket it seems?
She: Nope!! Not that much.
Me: Then also you watching us play!!
She: Hmmm..
Me: Pretending to find the ball, although I have already seen where it was laying.
She: It dropped there.
Me: Oh ok..here!!
She: no there.
Me: I was thinking that I should ask her to come out n help me. But…. That’s me ..
She: There it is just near your left leg.
Me: Oh here it is- Idiot. Picked up and started juggling it, So ..what’s u r name?
She: ****
Me: Ok which class ??
She: 9^th .
Me: B******.. wat ?? there it goes, every thing comes crumbling down.

She is older than me.. I was in 7^th std .. that too 2 years… That’s not fair. Now I need to call her “DIDI” henceforth; this is the way we were brought up in our society.

No No.. I won’t do that.
Me: oh great .. I’m also in 9^th.
Lie is the best and first step to approach a gal. I learned that by watching SRK movies J

Me: It’s getting dark, bye!!
She:bye!!

Well I started retracing my steps -disappointed. After few days she came to know that I was not in 9^th, when i reasoned it out y i lied it made her laugh.

We were friends now, mind you just friends. Then she went out of station for higher studies after her board Exams, few months in the starting we were in contact, then lost track.

Few days back MOM informed me that she got married few months back.

I know this is not the perfect ending but this is not a movie also .

(.......)

Again chain of sleepless night, don’t know what’s happening? Watching movies, checking mails, chatting,listening songs, reading, and surfing - these activities have become a regular night curriculum from few days. Well this is not the first time it’s happening but generally this phase gets over pretty soon but this time it’s getting prolonged.

Present state – restless nights, day dreaming, deep thoughts.
Trying to find out what mind, heart, soul, body wants???

Job- when there was no work, was longing for one.
Now when work is there, don’t feel like working.

Want my student life back.
Tension free
Enjoy every day.
Live life to the fullest.

“Mama take this job from me
I can't work anymore
It's getting dark too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door”

Probably i need a long vacation
go somewhere..enjoy , think, relax
take a break from routine.

Trying to run away from (……). Don’t know what?
Trying to run towards (……). Don’t know what?

Trying to find out the hidden depths,
Trying to ease the pain,
Trying to sleep

Can say I have become comfortably numb.

PS: This piece was written few days back, was planning to post the day when I would be out of this phase. It happened and now I can sleep.

Face 2 Face with God.

Long hours of staring at the laptop screen looking at the black and white code which resembles my colorless life, marching close towards developing asthenopia or already developed only God knows. Eyes almost closed, my head about to fall on the table when suddenly heard a voice…

God: Beta !
Me : Papa!

God: Main tumhara baap nai hun.. Open your eyes son. Main sab ka baap hun!!
Me: Amitabh???

God: No No! Bollywood ke duniya se bhar aao. I’m GOD!
Me: What the F…

God: No slang, you are in front of God.
Me: Oops, sorry. Which god? I mean Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh or some other Foreigner God like Jesus.. o o oh.. I don’t remember any other foreign god’s name. Sorry Again.

God: Plzz.. Now you can go back to bollywood. “Bhagwan ek hai- we identify them with different names”.
Me: ok ok. So why are you here? Do you want me to construct some temples/mosques/churches ?

God: No No.
Me: Then anything important? One second I always have a short prayer after bath – in case you don’t know.

God: I know that. It’s just a regular visit. If you need any help. I try to cover most of the people whenever I get free time, today is your turn.
Me: Ok so you often visit people.

God: Only on free time.
Me: Oh ok. So you are also busy?? Gr8.

God: Yes. It’s same like a job of an IT professional – No Work /Very Busy.
Me: And what about Job satisfaction.

God: Please let’s not go in to this.
Me (To myself): He also has a job problem probably came down to look for one, but why me , he should have contacted HR peoples.

God: Hello!!
Me: Yes yes. So tell me what you want from me?

God: That’s the question I must be asking you.
Me: Ok. Happiness and good health for my family.

To Myself: What was that? I could have asked for million dollars ..y y millions.. Uncle Scruz Bank infact or some hot blonde gal as my Gf and some sundar, sushil and wealthy Wife. CEO of some big multi-national company, anything I could have asked for. Any ways chance gone.

God: Gud. I’m very happy that you care so much about your family.
To Myself: That was a mistake dude..sorry god!!.

God: Anything else you would like me to do.
Me: It struck me, Wait a sec. so you came here for something special and you know that’s missing in my life.

God: No no, it’s not like that!!
Me: Come on!! If you know what’s missing then why you want to hear it from my mouth. Ok so you want to embarrass me. So let do it your ways.

God: It’s not like that, I don’t want to hurt or embarrass you, it’s just my routine question, I ask it to everyone after my first question.
Me: Hmm. Actually I have lot’s of questions/things, the list is long can I mail you if you have a mailing address ?

God: No son. No service provider above.
Me: Ok. No probs. Rite now I need sleep, I’m very tired.
There it goes screwed my second chance also.

God: As you wish son. Good Night!!
Me: wait wait.. how can I get in touch with you? Or if I need your help.

God: No need. I’ll be in touch with you and I’m always there to help you- that’s service comes as default and free.
Me: Great. Bbye!!

No reply!! He has already gone.
Few minutes later I slept and snored heavily.

I was cursing myself when I got up in the morning that I screwed up an opportunity to be rich, famous, and renowned. Disappointment precludes me from getting up from the bed, so I thought of contemplating more on the purpose of his visit.
Long thoughts long discussion with me, brain cells fighting within my head for the righteous answer none succeeding though.

Finally concluded that the sole purpose of GOD visiting me was to make sure that I don’t loose faith in him or probably he may have seen that i am on the path of destroying it, although I was not converted to atheists or he may have thought I would have converted to one in near future. May be any of these reasons.

It was a message - do any thing you undertake with pure heart and commitment not too concerned about the outcome, he will always be there beside you taking care of all the issues and fighting along side you in overcoming all the hindrances coming your way.

Just go full throttle!! God hai na. !!

This post should be taken in the best of the spirit, in no ways I’m hurting anyone religious feelings/beliefs or mocking God. My earnest apologies in advance just in case.

Life has been fast and unpredictable in last few days.In the End -- Californication

Away from Blogging – b’coz of last few days in fact few months, courtesy Life. Some one said “Life is a perfect example of Life itself”. Unfolding few of the pages- don’t remember the dates can say I’m not “Subodh” or occurrence of events were so fast that dates could not find a slot in mind.

Tired from the clichéd and useless work which even a 10^th grade can do – People tag it as Job Satisfaction having true or false as value but for me it was null. So decided to appear for Interviews- that phase was fulsome, in some of the face to face discussion I thought of either hitting the person on the other side of the table or to be on the polite side just get up from the seat and walk out of the room. After having gulped down lot of these I was finally selected in one and they were ready to offer me. Was very exited , came back home prepared the resignation mail and was all set to send it. Friends they are God in these conditions they stopped me, Blessed advice “Jab tak offer hath me na aa jaye Resign nai karne ka”. I did so n c Till date I didn’t get any offers from them. They rejected me on salary issues even though I mentioned in the ECTC- Negotiable. Lucky Escape!!.

Not that lucky though .Was thrown out from the project or can say from my client – Company facing financial problems resulting to downsizing. So from the luxury of having 2 jobs in hand I was reduced to none -left in shocked state and in dismay. For the first time in my IT career I was on bench and was feeling the prick, many people were thrown out , so it was tough for the HR people to get all of them placed. The Scenario was looking horrible and the chances of it getting worse were brighter. Few days from then was scheduled for a client interview – was so nervous that I screwed it up. The result was put on hold and was entitled for another round. That another round was to happen anytime basically I would be informed about it few hours or a day before. Cancelled my Megadeth show b’coz of this.

Finally had an interview and was selected, then came the news that guys selected for the project would be traveling (ONSITE) and since I was selected late for that project so till then I didn’t have the client approval to travel. 50-50 chance. Happiness came along with toppings of sadness. My head was swimming as I returned back home from office—thinking so much happened in a day- Selected for a project- Work is good- Missed onsite – May have a chance of traveling in future. That Life’s - it’s ambages has taken me everywhere and left me nowhere.

Sipping the tea and adding fumes of cigarette to the pollution thinking “Ab kya goga”, got a call from unknown number, Credit Card / Personal loan / Home loan .. hmm.. U people are gone today “Maa behan se kaam me baat nai hoga aaj”--- as I picked up the call full prepared to have a go at them “U r Traveling, bring u r passport tmrw to office” – It was my HR. O o oh .. Man I was happy called up my Parents, my friends and every one close to me..Gosh!! they were happy too.

Gave the Passport Xerox the next day, started filling the Visa , got the Visa interview dates . It took me 2 days to arrange for the Visa documents and some of the documents required were missing also. Finally got everything ready and gather as many tips required for Visa interview from people who has been thru this. My office friends told me not to go in a particular counter as the Lady there is strict and rejects VISA also and mine was scheduled in that particular counter only. I was full nervous but anyways I got my stamping. J. Before i could realize anything dates were fixed ,tickets were booked . It all happened so fast that it's sometimes hard to believe. It’s business trip so duration is very small but it’s fine for me I’m happy.

Finally I’m traveling today nite to CALIFORNIA. But as u say “Jab tak Videsh nai paunch jao tab tak tum India me hee ho”….. So guys wait for the next update. Hopefully I’ll write the next post from US.

Now time to update the City/State in orkut and photos too.....