Happy New Year PPL!!!

Seconds,Minutes,Hours,Days,Month now Year ending-- 2010 for me has been very eventful and stressful. Nearly got ring-picked, fought a lot for my salary hike and promotion. Screwed by work,laziness,mood swings. Fought really hard to control my mood swings and the anti-socializing feeling that newly generated in me. Seen a hell lot of transformation in my friends -- from like me to dislike me, tried hard to express what i was going through, but all in vain. Had my "Bidesh trip", this time also no Vegas- I sometime hate myself when I ponder over the Vegas issue,now all gone. It was horribly bad trip, nothing fruitful coming out of it.
Joined a new company.. just for the sake of Brand- Presently, I think this is the worst decision, but slowly will overcome this guilt feeling and will start all over again.

Having a coughing year end , cancelled my trip to Coorg, sitting at home sipping hot water, hoping that I will be able to drink tonight, but nothing seems favorable...
Any ways I will see what needs to be done.. You people go and have a blast.
With new base, new goals, new dreams and with all positiveness I will enter 2011 - the year that should somehow/anyhow will belong to me. I hope everyone does that, leave the decade behind and welcome the new one :)

Happy New Year.... :))))
May this year brings all that everyone is longing for :)

Blasting Saturday.

Woke up in the morning with hangover and bad stomach. Rarely I had faced such combo, any how the bad stomach surpassed my hangover and by 11-12 I was withering with stomach pain and weakness. Could have rested for the day with no food.Everything would have been alright but had already booked tickets to watch Mr Sachin “Reborn” Tendulkar, so no respite had to watch this one. No way my stomach could ruin my evening plan for watching Mumbai Indians VS Royal Challengers Bangalore.

Had little food and then started for the stadium. Was a little late as per my last experience, where we had to stand in queue for a very long time to get inside the stadium. Was little tense on this, as we would get in late/won’t get the favorable seats/what if Sachin got out early and I don’t get a chance to see his cover drive, all these took my mind off the stomach pain.

But luckily we reached on time, there was no rush to get in , we easily got to our A stand which was through gate 11 (this has importance). Friends who reached before had already blocked some seats. The view was awesome, the noise was deafening . We settled down on our seats with a glass of water, cold drinks and RCB flag. The RCB player were close to our stand practicing. Anytime the player came close to the boundary there was a huge cheer form the crowd. As my mind got accustomed to the environment my stomach got the priority , I started coping with it for some time but it was getting unbearable . Suddenly we heard a loud sound, all the players/people looked in the direction the sound came from. We definitely knew that it was no cracker.

Some people inquired about the sound , it was a blast.We panicked mainly because the match may not happen, the players left the field, the music, the side screen all was switched off. Everyone around started getting messages and call. Initially we got message it was generator failure , the 2 blast happened inside the generator , all of low intensity and desi standards. Any how my stomach blast has reached to its max by then and I had to rush somewhere :), when I came back everything was normal , the players were practicing , the music was on, the side screen showed matched delayed and will start at 5 pm.

Further news on the blast came as it happened at Gate number 12, security guards were injured but nothing serious. They found a live one also which was time triggered . The match started, no details on the match as RCB lost lost, lost badly :(, Mumbai Indians Blasted RCB. A better show was expected . We came out after the wicket of Virat, had to walk almost 1 km to get an auto. All these because of me as I wanted to go home early so thought auto would be a good idea over the bus. Most of the autos were full, others don’t want to go to my place, some were asking huge money it even started drizzling to add to our miseries . Finally we got one auto, agreed on 200 and all five of us sat in 1 auto and came back home.

Eventful day, late at night I thought how can they compromise players and people security by allowing the match to happen, that was simply ridiculous moreover RCB could have escaped the embarrassing loss.

Any way we came back safe.

Sadly all semis are moved to Mumbai. :(

Time to celebrate….

12:24 Am – no sleep , no gym , no drink… sucks
Bangalore won comprehensively but no drinks for me. Friend from Bangalore(his second home as he says) who migrated for a while to Delhi, cribs on the beer rate here. Probably the only thing he liked in Delhi was the beer rate (mind you better than the chicks of Delhi). No worries, he will get accustomed once he has his first paycheck :).

List of series to go with but not able to decide which one, so probably another night I may end up watching few episode of Friends or Mr Gold (Entourage).

Logging off from maya jaal (Internet)

Good night - > the changed me or trying to be a different me :)

Coming back…..

Happy New Year 2010 and Happy Birthday to me (all belated though). This time I came back with a promise to pen down at least once a week. I know I rarely keep my promise, but will try to stand by it this time. Will write anything - >movie reviews, hourly thoughts, anything to everything that comes to mind.

Lots of time and undertaking have gone down the tunnel and got scrapped without my commitment -> my guitar class, my gym (started yesterday):), my personal projects , my blogging and many more…. So planning to make this one count by writing regularly.

Coming back…..
Will enjoy a different me from today .

Loneliness is boon as well as curse.

Some days back , I was gestured by few people “I have not seen you so much happy before.” That very comment made me sad for the rest of day. Was I really happy or those people are really sad and found me less sadder , so profiled me as One Happy IT professional from the whole sucking depressed lot. (sadder is that really a word.. will check :) ).

On sleep deprived nights, could have sat down scribbled my emotions and thought but that never happened , guess so much chambers opened in mind difficult to close all and let the desired one open.

Since two weeks I’m all by myself in a 2 bhk (roomie gone home), friends come friends go, some days it so happened that I never uttered a word at home. Remain online and chat. No television for those many days, opened on match day for few minutes but India are always disappointing . They couldn’t even ravage the depleted Australian side on home soil.

I try to concentrate on work when in office and try to relax when I’m home. But failing on both front. Listen to Pink Floyd in the morning , which normal person do that. :) I know lot of people will argue on that.

Even tried to socialize with friends and go out, watched Blue -remain depressed for a very long time, got over Blue at LOR :).

I can’t write more … confused I’m and need a smoke…

Dhuan……..

Murder in a confused state...

Die ... plz die alone.. my dreams.. don't drag me to your grave ...
I wont give you company....

You kill me every sec...every min..every hour...every day..every month..every year...
Cant tolerate this anymore.. die you filthy ______ ....

I'm tired of you.. your friendship... your methods to aspire ...
I'm tired in maintaining you...
I'm tired of justifying you......

so cut the crap......
And die..... die alone... let me live my life....

If you wont die by your self...
I'll kill you... Murder you... assassinate you...

I don't have option.... a confused mind with no option finds murder a way to escape....

Kill me or i'll kill you /////// "MY DREAMS"..........................

dhiskyonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......


finally.................

lets sleep now :)

The Gap…..

Yeah!!Yeah!!! It’s been a while, in fact a year passed :-). When I looked at the post date of my last scribble it was almost 5 months. My first story was also abandoned in its culmination. Reasons are many , some of the reason could be considered for my unavailability and some could be just ignored as they are meaningless and not even worth talking about. My excuse for THE GAP could be said as “My life subjected to sporadic meaningful/meaningless events” . Meaningful?????? Aye…everything in my life is not meaningless , come on!!! I have something meaningful happening also, don’t believe me?? Well it would be better if I support it with some facts. Meaning…like…hmmm..like..yeh let me think…oh it really need a brain storming session. Forget it!!!! I’ll put it when I recall something , actually there are so many meaningful things happening that’s it difficult to remember them.
I know my pretension would be hard to digest but anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone and yes I have completed the story(job done).

Past few months were profuse work , I know it’s hard to digest in IT industry but it was .Working on new release fixing bugs of previous release, giving everything to meet the deadline, finally completing it on time , so much effort put in on same salary- yes my appraisal is due for past few months and no sign of getting one in future. So slogging without hike, my statement “Main Sirf paise ke liye kaam karta hun” underwent a complete change to “Main ab sirf job bachane ke liye kaam karta hun”.

Ya, the market scenario is pathetic , on bench people getting fired , all company reducing their work strength, increasing the working hours, stopping the hikes, cutting the present salary by some percentage. The highlighting part of the Market down was the Lehmann debacle, when that happened every one panicked , rumors started floating about various other banks going bankrupt and financial consulting firms closing down. The government pitched in to soothe the people , telling India’s economy is safe and all the banks are in better situation. When people started easing out and breathing in relief- SATYAM crashed and left a black mark on India’s IT industry. There’s panic everywhere in the IT circle , no one is certain of what’s going to happen , no marriage proposal for Software Engineer, parents looking for other options for their girls. Well I’m concerned about this more because I’m planning to get married (I’m one selfish guy, always cribbing…forget it ). Now marriage can be put in the meaningful bucket. What say??? :-)

Above all there are these group of peoples making our life more miserable , bombing different parts of India , killing innocent people . The Mumbai incident was the worst among all , It was horrifying and tragic. Where the hell has our security gone, they came in from anywhere got in anywhere and killed anyone. Salute to the brave Indian army for rescuing us, the whole nation cried and moaned while they stood tall and assured us that we are still safe. The news channels fought for the coverage while the uniform people fought, they even gave it a new name 26/11. Come on people at least this was not to be compared with Videsh. The country and the citizen are indebted to all those who cooperated in the mission and to all those heroes who lost their lives. The dead count may not be huge but the faith and pride loss is huge.

Here I’m back again after few more days, went on a break again, this new release and work is driving me nuts, it’s only because of recession that I’m hanging otherwise mail and god knows what after that. I just keep on cribbing, all because of my dreams they leave me breathless.

Any ways coming back to complete this post , thanks to one heck of a sporty weekend and my courage to ignore some work on weekends :-). But yeah I was tired needed a break , and it couldn’t get better than watching the 2 best tennis player fight it out for another Grand Slam. Nadal has really gone inside the head of Roger. He had to play him mentally as well as physically. Nadal eluding Roger again to equal Pete. Well, I think this French open may have something for Roger fans, for me I just sit and enjoy their display of skill, neutral I’m.
Aussie dethroned by SA and they lost 2day also :) India still winning , Messi still scoring , EPL getting real exciting ,these are the things which keeps me going.
Yes music and movies too. Movies have been real disaster and waste of money, come on it’s recession every penny may count :-). All the movies I watched in last few months have given me big time headache. So I have gone selective now, waiting for DEV D ,presently the only movie in my list for coming months.

The music of DEV D is awesome, when I first heard , I thought it was a typical T-Series collection ‘HITS Of 2008’ which they release at the end of every year. A mix bag, EA(emosonal attyachaar), EA rock version, Nayan Tarse, Mahi Mennu and Pardesi tracks are exceptional, when I started repeating the album I started liking other songs, presently Saali Khushi and Paayaliya are my personal favs.
Movies were so bad that I switched on to American serials, earnestly speaking Prison Break and Heroes are must watch. Do watch it, torrents are easily available and have a fantastic seeding.

I completely forgot, now one could make out that I really need a break, the work has completely wiped out the best days of my life, which I lived in last few months. I had Goa trips, trip(s) --oh yes not once , in two months two times. :-)

Time to wrap up, mail checking time..ya ya official mails and there’s football also -Liverpool VS Chelsea.
Got to gather myself also, get mentally prepared na na not for the match , it’s for Monday. I hate MONDAY.
One more thing, for Rock Fans Iron Maiden is on , 15th Feb Bangalore , tickets available at DNA website. That would be one rocking night, missed the first time, this time ..will ROCK :-)
Enjoy the new year and this season "Try Not Falling In love". :-)