Compendium of What I Feel

Happy New Year PPL!!!

2010-11-30T14:24:00.006+05:30

Seconds,Minutes,Hours,Days,Month now Year ending-- 2010 for me has been very eventful and stressful. Nearly got ring-picked, fought a lot for my salary hike and promotion. Screwed by work,laziness,mood swings. Fought really hard to control my mood swings and the anti-socializing feeling that newly generated in me. Seen a hell lot of transformation in my friends -- from like me to dislike me, tried hard to express what i was going through, but all in vain. Had my "Bidesh trip", this time also no Vegas- I sometime hate myself when I ponder over the Vegas issue,now all gone. It was horribly bad trip, nothing fruitful coming out of it.
Joined a new company.. just for the sake of Brand- Presently, I think this is the worst decision, but slowly will overcome this guilt feeling and will start all over again.

Having a coughing year end , cancelled my trip to Coorg, sitting at home sipping hot water, hoping that I will be able to drink tonight, but nothing seems favorable...
Any ways I will see what needs to be done.. You people go and have a blast.
With new base, new goals, new dreams and with all positiveness I will enter 2011 - the year that should somehow/anyhow will belong to me. I hope everyone does that, leave the decade behind and welcome the new one :)

Happy New Year.... :))))
May this year brings all that everyone is longing for :)

Blasting Saturday.

2010-04-18T19:15:00.003+05:30

Woke up in the morning with hangover and bad stomach. Rarely I had faced such combo, any how the bad stomach surpassed my hangover and by 11-12 I was withering with stomach pain and weakness. Could have rested for the day with no food.Everything would have been alright but had already booked tickets to watch Mr Sachin “Reborn” Tendulkar, so no respite had to watch this one. No way my stomach could ruin my evening plan for watching Mumbai Indians VS Royal Challengers Bangalore.

Had little food and then started for the stadium. Was a little late as per my last experience, where we had to stand in queue for a very long time to get inside the stadium. Was little tense on this, as we would get in late/won’t get the favorable seats/what if Sachin got out early and I don’t get a chance to see his cover drive, all these took my mind off the stomach pain.

But luckily we reached on time, there was no rush to get in , we easily got to our A stand which was through gate 11 (this has importance). Friends who reached before had already blocked some seats. The view was awesome, the noise was deafening . We settled down on our seats with a glass of water, cold drinks and RCB flag. The RCB player were close to our stand practicing. Anytime the player came close to the boundary there was a huge cheer form the crowd. As my mind got accustomed to the environment my stomach got the priority , I started coping with it for some time but it was getting unbearable . Suddenly we heard a loud sound, all the players/people looked in the direction the sound came from. We definitely knew that it was no cracker.

Some people inquired about the sound , it was a blast.We panicked mainly because the match may not happen, the players left the field, the music, the side screen all was switched off. Everyone around started getting messages and call. Initially we got message it was generator failure , the 2 blast happened inside the generator , all of low intensity and desi standards. Any how my stomach blast has reached to its max by then and I had to rush somewhere :), when I came back everything was normal , the players were practicing , the music was on, the side screen showed matched delayed and will start at 5 pm.

Further news on the blast came as it happened at Gate number 12, security guards were injured but nothing serious. They found a live one also which was time triggered . The match started, no details on the match as RCB lost lost, lost badly :(, Mumbai Indians Blasted RCB. A better show was expected . We came out after the wicket of Virat, had to walk almost 1 km to get an auto. All these because of me as I wanted to go home early so thought auto would be a good idea over the bus. Most of the autos were full, others don’t want to go to my place, some were asking huge money it even started drizzling to add to our miseries . Finally we got one auto, agreed on 200 and all five of us sat in 1 auto and came back home.

Eventful day, late at night I thought how can they compromise players and people security by allowing the match to happen, that was simply ridiculous moreover RCB could have escaped the embarrassing loss.

Any way we came back safe.

Sadly all semis are moved to Mumbai. :(

Time to celebrate….

2010-04-15T00:31:00.001+05:30

12:24 Am – no sleep , no gym , no drink… sucks
Bangalore won comprehensively but no drinks for me. Friend from Bangalore(his second home as he says) who migrated for a while to Delhi, cribs on the beer rate here. Probably the only thing he liked in Delhi was the beer rate (mind you better than the chicks of Delhi). No worries, he will get accustomed once he has his first paycheck :).

List of series to go with but not able to decide which one, so probably another night I may end up watching few episode of Friends or Mr Gold (Entourage).

Logging off from maya jaal (Internet)

Good night - > the changed me or trying to be a different me :)

Coming back…..

2010-04-14T15:13:00.001+05:30

Happy New Year 2010 and Happy Birthday to me (all belated though). This time I came back with a promise to pen down at least once a week. I know I rarely keep my promise, but will try to stand by it this time. Will write anything - >movie reviews, hourly thoughts, anything to everything that comes to mind.

Lots of time and undertaking have gone down the tunnel and got scrapped without my commitment -> my guitar class, my gym (started yesterday):), my personal projects , my blogging and many more…. So planning to make this one count by writing regularly.

Coming back…..
Will enjoy a different me from today .

2009-11-06T20:18:00.000+05:30

Loneliness is boon as well as curse.

Some days back , I was gestured by few people “I have not seen you so much happy before.” That very comment made me sad for the rest of day. Was I really happy or those people are really sad and found me less sadder , so profiled me as One Happy IT professional from the whole sucking depressed lot. (sadder is that really a word.. will check :) ).

On sleep deprived nights, could have sat down scribbled my emotions and thought but that never happened , guess so much chambers opened in mind difficult to close all and let the desired one open.

Since two weeks I’m all by myself in a 2 bhk (roomie gone home), friends come friends go, some days it so happened that I never uttered a word at home. Remain online and chat. No television for those many days, opened on match day for few minutes but India are always disappointing . They couldn’t even ravage the depleted Australian side on home soil.

I try to concentrate on work when in office and try to relax when I’m home. But failing on both front. Listen to Pink Floyd in the morning , which normal person do that. :) I know lot of people will argue on that.

Even tried to socialize with friends and go out, watched Blue -remain depressed for a very long time, got over Blue at LOR :).

I can’t write more … confused I’m and need a smoke…

Dhuan……..

Murder in a confused state...

2009-07-24T00:32:00.003+05:30

Die ... plz die alone.. my dreams.. don't drag me to your grave ...
I wont give you company....

You kill me every sec...every min..every hour...every day..every month..every year...
Cant tolerate this anymore.. die you filthy ______ ....

I'm tired of you.. your friendship... your methods to aspire ...
I'm tired in maintaining you...
I'm tired of justifying you......

so cut the crap......
And die..... die alone... let me live my life....

If you wont die by your self...
I'll kill you... Murder you... assassinate you...

I don't have option.... a confused mind with no option finds murder a way to escape....

Kill me or i'll kill you /////// "MY DREAMS"..........................

dhiskyonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......

finally.................

lets sleep now :)

The Gap…..

2009-02-01T21:02:00.009+05:30

Yeah!!Yeah!!! It’s been a while, in fact a year passed :-). When I looked at the post date of my last scribble it was almost 5 months. My first story was also abandoned in its culmination. Reasons are many , some of the reason could be considered for my unavailability and some could be just ignored as they are meaningless and not even worth talking about. My excuse for THE GAP could be said as “My life subjected to sporadic meaningful/meaningless events” . Meaningful?????? Aye…everything in my life is not meaningless , come on!!! I have something meaningful happening also, don’t believe me?? Well it would be better if I support it with some facts. Meaning…like…hmmm..like..yeh let me think…oh it really need a brain storming session. Forget it!!!! I’ll put it when I recall something , actually there are so many meaningful things happening that’s it difficult to remember them.
I know my pretension would be hard to digest but anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone and yes I have completed the story(job done).

Past few months were profuse work , I know it’s hard to digest in IT industry but it was .Working on new release fixing bugs of previous release, giving everything to meet the deadline, finally completing it on time , so much effort put in on same salary- yes my appraisal is due for past few months and no sign of getting one in future. So slogging without hike, my statement “Main Sirf paise ke liye kaam karta hun” underwent a complete change to “Main ab sirf job bachane ke liye kaam karta hun”.

Ya, the market scenario is pathetic , on bench people getting fired , all company reducing their work strength, increasing the working hours, stopping the hikes, cutting the present salary by some percentage. The highlighting part of the Market down was the Lehmann debacle, when that happened every one panicked , rumors started floating about various other banks going bankrupt and financial consulting firms closing down. The government pitched in to soothe the people , telling India’s economy is safe and all the banks are in better situation. When people started easing out and breathing in relief- SATYAM crashed and left a black mark on India’s IT industry. There’s panic everywhere in the IT circle , no one is certain of what’s going to happen , no marriage proposal for Software Engineer, parents looking for other options for their girls. Well I’m concerned about this more because I’m planning to get married (I’m one selfish guy, always cribbing…forget it ). Now marriage can be put in the meaningful bucket. What say??? :-)

Above all there are these group of peoples making our life more miserable , bombing different parts of India , killing innocent people . The Mumbai incident was the worst among all , It was horrifying and tragic. Where the hell has our security gone, they came in from anywhere got in anywhere and killed anyone. Salute to the brave Indian army for rescuing us, the whole nation cried and moaned while they stood tall and assured us that we are still safe. The news channels fought for the coverage while the uniform people fought, they even gave it a new name 26/11. Come on people at least this was not to be compared with Videsh. The country and the citizen are indebted to all those who cooperated in the mission and to all those heroes who lost their lives. The dead count may not be huge but the faith and pride loss is huge.

Here I’m back again after few more days, went on a break again, this new release and work is driving me nuts, it’s only because of recession that I’m hanging otherwise mail and god knows what after that. I just keep on cribbing, all because of my dreams they leave me breathless.

Any ways coming back to complete this post , thanks to one heck of a sporty weekend and my courage to ignore some work on weekends :-). But yeah I was tired needed a break , and it couldn’t get better than watching the 2 best tennis player fight it out for another Grand Slam. Nadal has really gone inside the head of Roger. He had to play him mentally as well as physically. Nadal eluding Roger again to equal Pete. Well, I think this French open may have something for Roger fans, for me I just sit and enjoy their display of skill, neutral I’m.
Aussie dethroned by SA and they lost 2day also :) India still winning , Messi still scoring , EPL getting real exciting ,these are the things which keeps me going.
Yes music and movies too. Movies have been real disaster and waste of money, come on it’s recession every penny may count :-). All the movies I watched in last few months have given me big time headache. So I have gone selective now, waiting for DEV D ,presently the only movie in my list for coming months.

The music of DEV D is awesome, when I first heard , I thought it was a typical T-Series collection ‘HITS Of 2008’ which they release at the end of every year. A mix bag, EA(emosonal attyachaar), EA rock version, Nayan Tarse, Mahi Mennu and Pardesi tracks are exceptional, when I started repeating the album I started liking other songs, presently Saali Khushi and Paayaliya are my personal favs.
Movies were so bad that I switched on to American serials, earnestly speaking Prison Break and Heroes are must watch. Do watch it, torrents are easily available and have a fantastic seeding.

I completely forgot, now one could make out that I really need a break, the work has completely wiped out the best days of my life, which I lived in last few months. I had Goa trips, trip(s) --oh yes not once , in two months two times. :-)

Time to wrap up, mail checking time..ya ya official mails and there’s football also -Liverpool VS Chelsea.
Got to gather myself also, get mentally prepared na na not for the match , it’s for Monday. I hate MONDAY.
One more thing, for Rock Fans Iron Maiden is on , 15th Feb Bangalore , tickets available at DNA website. That would be one rocking night, missed the first time, this time ..will ROCK :-)
Enjoy the new year and this season "Try Not Falling In love". :-)

Eternal Love(VI) - The Culmination

2009-02-01T20:38:00.005+05:30

Almost a week past in hospital , Sonal health deteriorating day after day, Rohan getting restless, arguing with the doctors everyday and each day getting the same reply “It’s too late, we are helpless”. Controlling the tears , keeping his emotions intact, trying to make Sonal smile all the time. Friends started visiting in the morning before going to office, showing their empathy , saying words of encouragement, suggesting different doctors and hospital , where Sonal’s case could have handled properly. Sonal was happy to see them just because they bring smile on Rohan face otherwise her eyes were always longing for particular faces.
Rohan was having breakfast on Sonal insistence as he skipped the night meal.

Sonal: Did you call them?
Rohan: Yes.
Sonal: then……
Rohan: Then what?
Sonal: Are they coming?
Rohan: Yes , they told they will book the tickets and will come as soon as possible.
Sonal: Lie, you can’t even lie properly.
Rohan: No baba , I’m telling the truth, believe me…
Sonal: Shut up!!
Rohan: If you already know the truth then why you want to hear it from me?.
And he started weeping like a baby. Sonal trying to console but can’t even move her hands to wipe out his tears because of the pierced needles.
Sonal: Please don’t cry and tell me what they said, I’m ready to hear anything .
Rohan: In heavy and sobbing voice --they told “Their daughter died the day when she ran away with you, now they least care, whether she is dying or she is already dead.” They even told that I’m responsible for whatever has happened to you.
Sonal: How can they talk to you like that, now I also don’t want to see them.

To their respite the doctor came, he told Rohan to come out. Now Rohan new that the time has come for the final verdict , he was trying to be strong , following the doctor out of the room.
Doctor: Rohan, Call everyone from the family whom she wants to meet, because the days may very soon get converted to hours. Be strong , we really tried hard but the test reports have come , almost all the internal organs have stopped functioning , the body is filled with water.

Rohan: How many days?
Doctor: 24 hours or at max 10 more hours.
Rohan: What? Can I take her home?
Doctor: No!! better keep her here only, she won’t be able to move at all.

Patting on Rohan’s back the doctor left. Rohan was shattered , he didn’t know what to do although he knew this hour will come. He called up his friends but couldn’t tell them anything just hung up hearing the voice from other end. He was preparing himself for this, but when the hour came everything was like a black hole, he felt as if he was dying. Finally he called up his mom but couldn’t tell her also , just cried on the call, his mom unaware of anything thought that his this state was because of Sonal. She started cursing her, blaming her for his condition, thrashing her by her words right and left and every curse statement was ending up with “I told you not to marry her, now see what she has done”. Rohan realizing the irony and accepting that his present state was surely because of Sonal but not how his mom was reasoning , his mom would never know how much he loved her.
Rohan: MOM!! It’s ok, stop cursing her, I’m hanging up. I’ll be all right, don’t worry.

He hung up the phone, rubbed his cheeks and eyes, went inside the room. Thinking why he called her up but then realized instead of her cursing Sonal, he stopped crying - that’s the effect of mom. Sonal eyes were fixed at the door from the time he went out. The moment he stepped in she started yelling at him with her very feeble and rushy voice.

Sonal: What the hell? What were you doing outside for so long? What the doctor said?
Rohan: Nothing much, he told he need to put in some more needles in your body to remove the water.
Sonal: What the f***? You lying again, how many days?
Rohan: Shut up n relax, not so soon.

They started their normal chit chats, Rohan trying to make her smile every time, reminding her of their first night after marriage , they were counting the money and packing to move out of Delhi rather than doing the stuff which every married couples do the very first night after marriage. At this Sonal started laughing. The doctor and nurses came inside willing to inject at 2 more places to remove water, she was telling them she didn’t want it but the doctor were insisting , as it will help her talk and breathe otherwise the water will block speech system and the breathing system too. Typical doctors they have their ways of making things done. Listening to this Sonal surrendered.

Time was running fast it was Friday afternoon, she was fading , she was nearing the dark clouds, she even started showing signs, not able to talk that fluently, sometimes having breathing problems. The conditions started getting worse and she started facing serious breathing problems, to help her breathe the doctor put a mask on her mouth. Tears were rolling continuously from Rohan’s eyes, her eyes were almost closed , she had her head directed where Rohan was standing. Looking at him with those half closed eyes. Rohan called up few of his friends asking them to come as soon as possible. She was constantly looking at her from few minutes. Suddenly she opened her eyes a little wider and started moving her hands calling Rohan.
Rohan came closer and understood that she wanted to remove the mask, he asked the nurse and she removed it.

Sonal: Rohan, ask the doctors to remove everything from my body please, I’m feeling very uncomfortable.
Looking at her eyes Rohan knew , he asked the nurses to do so, but the nurses were afraid, so they called the doctor.
Rohan: Sir please remove everything , my Sonal is feeling uncomfortable, please sir do it fast , she can’t bear any more pain --release her.
The doctor nodded to the nurse and she removed all the tubes.
Sonal: Embrace me, I want to die in your arms, always close to you.
Rohan: Nothing will happen , you will always be with me.
Sonal: Rohan!! I don’t want to die, I don’t want to leave you, I love you………………………
Rohan: You are not leaving me at any cost, I also love you …..Sonal …Sonal…Sonal…..

She had already left him and his crying was louder than before and he was shouting “Don’t leave me , what will I do without…Please..oh god……please ”. She was gone , he held her in the same position for some time, realizing nothing is coming back he laid her properly on bed ,removing his arms from her, kissed her on the lips, closed her eyes and retraced his steps backwards with his eyes still glued at her smiling face…………

Eternal Love (V)- The Proposal

2008-10-20T15:15:00.010+05:30

It was hardly 3 days, she had gone and Rohan started counting the days, he was getting restless as if devoid of something which was the essence of his life. Two more days passed, she didn’t call, he was very much annoyed and pissed off. Started smoking also, as people say cig makes time fly faster. Two more days passed and now he was going into the darkness of sadness. Finally she called up one night, it was the 5th day.

Sonal: Sorry…

Before she could say anything Rohan started hurling all the slang at her – on top of his voice, hearing this she started laughing and said “I love you”. That acted as a pacifier for him, he calmed down then she explained him the problems she had, and how difficult it was to call him.

Rohan: Sonal plz come back, I don’t know what’s happening but I can’t refrain from you now.
Sonal: Idiot, stop this, it’s hard for me also. 10 days more baby. I also miss you.

Don’t know what acted as a catalyst 10 days or the miss you, but Rohan broke down and started sobbing, not loud but enough for Sonal also to break into tears.

Sonal: Baby, don’t do this, It’s not easy for me also, ok will call you later, DAD is coming. Bye!! Take care, luv u.
Rohan: wait wait…

She hung up. That was enough for his cheeks getting completely wet. Two more days passed and Sonal didn’t call. After this incident Rohan took leave from office also, he didn’t feel like going anywhere just waiting for her phone. He was laying on the bed playing with the phone, received some tap on the door, dragged his extra heavy body and opened the door.

Rohan: You…
Sonal: Yes it’s me Sonal Muteja and I guess I’m in the right house and you are Rohan Bakshi.
Rohan: What?
Sonal: Nice way to greet, was expecting some one else or is any one there in the room with you.
Rohan: No no, just surprised to see you as you were coming after 10 days.
Sonal: Gr8, you only called me and now when I’m here you are looking all amazed and startle as if you never wanted me here, everything in phone was just fake. Better I’ll leave.
Rohan: Shut up.

He hugged her tightly, they lay on the bed, Sonal constantly teasing Rohan for that crying episode and living like a Devdas after she left. Rohan was not feeling bad at all, he was simply loving it, as he got what he wanted. Some chemical changes has already started happening with in him and suddenly the questioned popped out.

Rohan: Will you marry me?
Sonal: Shut up and listen how I got here? Dad saw me crying after I hung up the phone, he asked me the reason and I told her that one of my friend met with an accident and I had to leave as she is very serious.
Rohan: Marry me!!
Sonal: Lucky me na, my excuses work everytime.
Rohan: Please Marry me!

Sonal was trying to ignore it but Rohan was unstoppable, she was already getting emotional, with touch of water in the eyes. Rohan jumped out from the bed on to the floor, his eyes searching Sonal’s eyes in all the tears.

This time he said it loud.

Sonal: Yes idiot, now come inside, and close the door.

Then Rohan realized that he got so carried away by his thought that he said those words now also. He closed the door and came inside.

Sonal: Whom were you proposing?
Rohan: Nothing yaar, I was just remembering the day when I proposed you for marriage.
Sonal: Oh, I was a big idiot to say ‘YES’ and see now, what you have done to me?
Rohan: What have I done?
Sonal: Nothing baba, don’t get senti n all, was just bugging you. I thought that you were planning to propose to that sexy nurse, once I’m gone.
Rohan: Shut up! You are not going anywhere, time for the medicine.
Sonal: Ok, Don’t marry that nurse but at least marry some one after my death. I don’t want you to remain alone once I’m gone.
Rohan: Take the medicine; you are not going to die so soon, I’m not that lucky.
Sonal: Ok, Mr Not so lucky, don’t marry but at least take me out of this Hospital, Staying here is reducing my days on earth. I wish to meet my end sooner, if you keep me here for long.

Rohan was speechless, he could not say anything just looked at her eyes, Sonal could clearly see her number of days left and Rohan could easily make out from her face and eyes that Sonal’s this wish would be true very soon.

to be contd....

Eternal Love (IV)- Marriage:The Cataclysm

2008-09-14T21:00:00.016+05:30

The Date:

Laying down with its part in different direction; the master to whom he was so loyal treated him in the most unexpected way and that too for a girl whom Rohan had met only once. That’s not what he deserved ,he never complained even at the long messaging sessions at night and now what he got -”Laying on the floor since 1 hr ” and Rohan sitting on one side of the room looking at him with anguish.

He got up assembled all the pieces and switched it on, it was working fine. The cosmetic part of the phone took a beating but the internal was perfect. He said “that’s my Nokia 2200”. When the phone was up, he got loads of message, all from Sonal, before he could read them - she called. He waited for few rings and then picked.

Sonal: Hello! You are a big idiot, could not understand that I was bugging you.
Rohan: Hi, I thought so, that’s why to trouble you I switched off my phone. Now we are even.
Sonal: Even !! my foot, why you took so long to call, 2 days man – What were you doing? Settling accounts with other girls before bouncing on me?
Rohan: Let’s not get into this - tell me what are you doing now? Are you free?
Sonal: Not that free but tell me ..
Rohan: Meet me at Barista today at 5.

Then he went on to tell her the location, with a little bit of girl’s nagging habit - yes..no..yes.. he convinced her. It was lunch time and he had to meet a girl for lunch. He came back from lunch and it was already 3 p.m. Still have time for the evening date, so he decided of taking a nap. After sometime, his cell phone started making noise, the message was from Sonal. Where are you? I’m already there. What ??? Then he looked at the watch it was 5. Shit, he slept for 2 hours and now he is late.

He woke up, removed his clothes, hurled the water in the bucket over himself then had a DEO bath, dressed up and was ready in 5 minutes. All along the drive to Barista, he was cursing the chicken tanddori and rice. Finally he reached there 1 hr late to find out that he was early as he couldn’t find her. Text her immediately: Where are you? I’m there. Got the reply : Good, then place this order for me “Espresso Italiano” with sugar free, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

He started laughing, took a table and ordered the desired coffee.

She came, full make up, long ear rings with perfect white top, revealing her cleavage. He thought she looked better in the rain, with all her make up washed out.

Sonal: Have you ordered?
Rohan: Yes, girls are strange he thought, no apologies not even a Hi.
By the time her chit chat started, coffee came to give his ear some respite. As soon as she completed the coffee, she asked for the bill which he paid.
Sonal: Time to go, thanks for the coffee.
Rohan: So early, that was the few words he said after along time, otherwise she never gave him a chance to utter.
Sonal: Yup, coffee is over so no point in sitting and above all you don’t speak much, it’s me doing all the talking.
Rohan: You never allowed me to speak.
Sonal: Oh oh, is it , I thought that you were enjoying the view and never bother to talk, chalo next time you do the talking and I’ll listen.
Rohan: What view?
Sonal: Aah, .. come on . you have bike na?
Rohan: Yes.
Sonal: good drop me to PVR, I have a movie to catch at 7.30.
Rohan: gr8.

He took her to PVR saket and was about to say bye, when she said “park the bike and come to the entrance, I have got 2 tickets for SpiderMan”. He was shocked but couldn’t do anything. They watched the movie and he dropped her home after the movie.

Few more dates, movies and some lips act episodes in the theatre, sometimes even the goodbye kiss when he drops her home, now he was comfortable with her and was able to do much of talking also. She had now become his daily routine, he thought that he had given Sonal the maximum time among all the girls and never felt like sleeping with her. That’s was so unlikely of him, sometimes he thinks that he had killed the original Rohan or probably he was in some kind of hypnotic fascination entrusted by her. Whatever it was he simply loved her company.

The Unexpected:

Hours, days, months passed and she had now become the necessity, their frequent meet-ups took a jitter because of her 12th board exams that was the time when he realized -he loved her. The only time he could meet her was after the exams before the cab picks her up. To spend more time with her he would insist her of letting him drop her. The Exam took almost a month to finish and during that month he had only met her few times. He was longing for the exams to end and finally the day came. He was very exited that day, had made the preparation also, booked the movie tickets as she is very fond of movie, booked the table for dinner on the busiest restaurant. Everything was set even Sonal had taken permission from home–her typical excuse worked this time too. She came out from the school premises and demanded Rohan to take her to his place, so that she could change. He opened the door, as soon as they got in, she kissed him, Rohan was shocked and was not able to act accordingly , seeing this she withdrew her lips from his.

Sonal: I love you.
Rohan: What?
Sonal: Again this “what”, I’m telling I love you, I don’t know why, may be because you are smart, care for me……..
Her tone got heavy and she was not able to the utter the words properly, that was the signal for him to take over from there, he brought her close and hugged her.

Rohan: I love you too, thought of saying this to you long time before but was never able to.

She started smiling and kissed her, this time he was ready, after some time he pushed her and said “ Change , we have a movie to catch”. She stood there staring at him as if deprived of something and so abstruse that she gave an imperceptible nod and turned back, the omen clearly reflected that it’s time now and there was no escaping, he hold her by the hand, picked her up, kissed her and dropped her on the bed.

Sonal: Come in.
Rohan: Oh you are awake? I was just closing the windows.
Sonal: There are no windows in the balcony, get in other wise you will fall sick and close the door also, I’m feeling cold.
Rohan: Yup, you try to get some sleep, I’ll smoke and come.

As he lit the cigarette, he remembers of the evening he had his first drag along with her. After the first time, it was no big deal, she was lying next to him, wrapped in the bed sheet, suddenly she got up and started looking for match box, once she found it, she opened her purse and pulled out a small packet. She slid in to the bed, by this time he was watching all the episodes never dared to question her, because her body language had the sign of “NO OBJECTION”. She un-wrapped the cover, it was a cig packet. It came out of his mouth “What”.

Sonal: It’s said that after sex, smoking gives you a different kind of pleasure.
Rohan: What? Who told u?
Sonal: I read it, and stop with your “whats” and lit one, we will smoke.
He had smoked few drags before, during his night shifts so he knew a bit about smoking. He lit it up, took a drag, she was staring at his face, with eyes wide open.

Sonal: How do u feel, give me I’ll also try, teach me.
Rohan: No no, It’s not good.
Sonal: Shut up, I got it, I’ll try, tell me how to do it.

He explained her how to take, she took it and started coughing, eyes filled with water, nose all red. He tried to take the cig from her but she was not ready to let it go, One more go, she yelled at him with rash voice. One, two, three drags and now she was master.

Sonal: Idiots, these survey guys are big idiots, taste awful.

She threw the cig out of the window and looked for water and Rohan started laughing.

Sonal: Come get up, we will go to the ice cream parlour or else I’ll throw in sometime.

She was having the ice cream at full speed and he was still laughing.

Sonal: Shut up or else I’ll kill you.
Rohan: Ok ok. So when are you going for your cousin marriage?
Sonal: How many times I have told this Friday and yes I’ll be coming back in 15 days.
Rohan: 15 days, what will I do, your mobile will work there na?
Sonal: No my mobile will not work, I’ll call you everyday at night, now stop being a baby, I’m your GF not your wife.

to be contd...

Rock On- Rocks.

2008-09-01T17:26:00.007+05:30

Well, compelled to post the review amidst my “love story-Eternal Love”, just because can’t resist to wait for my story to conclude and the request for the review also made me do so. This post may be not well written as I’m writing a review after a long time and probably won’t be able to do complete justice.

Rock On – Live the Dreams.
The movie is about fulfilling the dreams you have so long lived with. It clearly reflects never to compromise in life rather keep on Rocking. With compromise you grow older and disgusted but when you start striving for your dreams age seems to be no barrier for you. This is the story about a music band group “MAGIK”, the way the word is spelled gives you a picture that it’s different, the band, the music they compose, the lyrics , the bondage they have, the dreams they strive for. The movie is about friendship, relationships, compromises, dreams.

The Characters:

Four friends form a band “Magik” and dream to make it big. Aditiya (Farhan Akhtar ) the lead singer and the poet of the band is ready to make any compromise to see the band making a mark on the global level , he dreams of “Having a bus named on the Band and they always move ahead on their journey never look back” and to fulfill this he is ready to compromise with the music also. Joe (Arjun Rampal), the stud, the lead guitarist of the band, is not ready to compromise their music at any stake. He believes in creating music that pleases everyone rather than creating music to please and suit others. KD(Purab Kohli) aka killer drummer is just concerned with pleasing girls , never dreams or believe in any idealism. Rob (Luke Kenney) just wants the band to be together and compose.

Each and every character is perfectly portrayed, be it their competitor band (forgot the name of the band) but ya remember their song “Zehriley” or the music company owner and the director of their first album-everyone’s role is well crafted. Other than the four main players the movie also highlights the two females- Sakshi (Prachi Desai) who plays Aditya’s wife and Shahana Goswami who plays Arjun’s wife. They both are different characters - Sakshi tries to unite the band so that his hubby (Farhan) is happy and their relationship improves but Arjun’s wife always tries to keep him away from their friends and the band even though she was with the band from starting.

The Acting:
Three debutants, three marvelous performances each of them need a special appreciation for their part. Farhan perfectly suits in to the role of the lead singer and the perfect hubby role, he display all the emotions with ease, be it when he is a husband or be it when he portrays the lead and most talented/responsible member of the band. Prachi brings grace and freshness in the movie, her role is well crafted and she does full justice to it. Arjun Rampal – he is the man, Long hair, classy mustache, perfect body language as a lead guitarist – his entry in the climax of the movie just speak of his power packed display. Guitar in the hand, hair swaying, stern look on the face, rock star kind of body movement all are just awesome. The way he handles the character of a loser and a hero in the eyes of his son are all superbly done. Shahana – she is just superb, she perfectly carries the irritation and disappointment in her role with ease. The complex character is very perfectly portrayed by her, she could well turn out be the director’s actor. Purab – his comic timing are just excellent, he is improving with every movie. He brings the light moments on the tense and sentimental part of the movie. Luke is well poised and energetic in his role as the man with a big heart.

The Music:
Shankar-Eshan-loy gives another master piece and a new singer in Farhan Akhtar to the industry. All the numbers are catchy and different, some you will like the first time you hear it and some you will like after you watch the movies. However I felt that the music could have been much better, but then I realized I could not compare it with LedZ, Metallica or any other big names just because the name of the movie has Rock word in it. The lyrics are funny and difficult to hum but still they flow well with the music and Farhan voice. All the songs are perfectly picturized, giving them a Rock show feel. The guitar work in all the songs are rocking, perfectly complimented by the drums and Farhan voice gives it a perfect blend.

The Direction, Screenplay and Editing:
Abhishek Kapoor- well his first venture was a disaster [Arayan] can’t say about it much as I have not watched it. In this movie he has done his home work though, one will simply love the style the movie is narrated and the flash backs put in the perfect part of the movie. The movie start’s with a stage rock performance on the road side of Mumbai with people moving in the background and the typical Mumbai traffic- a classy act of direction. A perfect execution of the most difficult movie according to me because rock is still considered insidious in India, that’s why the question comes “Are the Indian audience ready for ROCK ON”? All the emotional and sentimental scenes are effectively handled not allowing the actors to overreact. A well edited movie, it keeps the story intact and never allows the audience to get into boredom. Some of the Screenplays are taken straight from the bible. The confrontation between Aditya and Sakshi on their marriage life, the part at the climax when Aditya reveals that Joe is not coming and the outburst of KD on that, even the chemistry of typical hubby(Arjun) and wife(Shahana) are flawless. A master piece in short.

The Flaw:
There are few I would say- they may not be taken as flaw in other’s books, but I feel the break up of the band was not properly build up. It could have been more audience hitting, even their reunion was also not that great. I felt that because to break best of friends you need some substantial reason normal ego probs won’t do and when long separated friends reunite than it has to be grand. Except the title song "Rock On" other lyrics could have been made more hum-able, so that it could have appealed to the masses-who loves humming the bollywood songs. This could have brought all kind of viewers to the theatres, but now it’s a metro audience movie.

Few things I have not talked about, which you will love when you see the movie. The climax of the movie is the stage performance for 20 minutes, it’s perfect and it was shot in one go I guess - a perfect ending.

A must watch for all viewers, don’t go on the title of the movie, even the non Rock lovers would enjoy the movie. I being a true worshiper of rock music simply loved it, give me a man with guitar in his hand with long hairs playing high nodes with drums in the background- I could watch it for infinite hours.

Have a Rock On – go watch it.

Eternal Love (III)- The Rain

2008-08-22T15:00:00.007+05:30

The thunders and the loud roars of the cloud woke him up. Sonal was fast sleep and the windows were trying desperately to hamper her sleep. He unfolds himself from her hold, got out of the blanket and extended it to her neck. Gazed at her face, she looks even more beautiful to him. It always kind of happens to Rohan every time Sonal looks him prettier than before. It’s just like the Bollywood actor “with age their charisma grows”. The windows and the doors where making too much of noise, so he got up from the bed with his eyes still glued to her face. Closed the windows and then walked towards the balcony.

Pune is completely different during rains, the only thing she liked about the city. Otherwise Sonal still misses Delhi; she loved every thing about Delhi and was very depressed when they decided to move here. It was still drizzling and the wind was strong, Rohan went out in the balcony just to feel what she liked so much about the rain. The first drop of water on his body took him 2 years back from then where he was forced to get wet in the rain by Sonal.

………………………………….turning the pages

Rohan was standing outside the Disco waiting for the rain to stop, thinking it was an awful night for him. First wasting hours on that gal and result no name, no phone number and above all this rain. Even the gal with whom he wasted so much of time was not his target, desperation creeps into him. Shivering because of the wind and the thought of going back fully drenched in rain- pneumonia, fever, cold, body aches , the very thought of these made him sick. Suddenly the process was blocked by a girl voice from back - Hi. He turned back to find the same gal.

Rohan: ehhh, not you again.
Sonal: Left early and still standing here.
Rohan: Waiting for the rain to stop.
Sonal: I wish, it never stops, I love rain.
Rohan: I hate rain.
Sonal: So were you able to figure out my name.
Rohan: Not interested.
Sonal: In what my name or me or my body which you have scanned many a time.
Rohan figured it out that another hour will go just like this and nothing will come out of it, so it’s better to accept the defeat and let her win. She would be happy and will let him go. Sonal!!
Rohan: What?
Sonal: My name…idiot.
Rohan: He tried to conceal his smile. Rohan
Sonal: So Rohan, you look cool when smiling and look cute when trying to hide one.
Rohan: He started laughing.
Sonal: That too much of… now you look roudy.
Rohan: Controlling his laughter, Shut Up.
By that time Rohan had figured out that this girl is master in handling boys, he knows when to prick them and when to soothe them, a complete bitch- plays with the guy’s emotions, drag him to edge, kick him and rest his history. There must be something in a gal to defy all his tricks.

Sonal: So now what?
Rohan: Means??
Sonal: You don’t want my number.
Rohan: Off course I want.
Sonal: Then walk me to the auto stand and she came out amidst the road.
Rohan: No way… I’m going that path, not at all falling for this.
By the time she had already started walking, her friends were little ahead than her. So she started running and swaying in the rain enjoying every bit and probably not letting any rain drops hits the ground without touching her body.
Completely soaked in rain, she was calling for him; it was then that Rohan realized that not only she has a good body and sexy looks; there’s also has a child within her. Bad Idea he thought but he ran towards her, leaving himself totally at the mercy of rain, every drop was like 100 watt electricity. She laughed looking at him, he feels like the biggest idiot in the world, standing in front of her with all humbleness and she making a mock of him. She grabbed his hand and brushed his hair, this was much stronger shot than the rain drops, It was not the first time that a person from opposite sex touched him, but it was different. He thought probably it may be the rain. The auto stand was not that far, it was 1 km from the disco. He was looking at her while she was babbling non-stop, half way through he already knew everything about her, the likes, dislikes and all the blah blah.. but what his ears wanted to hear was not coming out of her mouth- the number. He surely loves the way she talks, making different expressions with different topics, his eyes were glued to her lips and eyes, even the rain drops also loved it, not ready to leave the lips until the next drop forces, as if every drop wanted to kiss her.

Sonal: hellooo…
Rohan: yes yes.
Sonal: Stop staring and tell me something about yourself.
He hated this part, lucky for him they reached the auto stand, her friends were already waiting for her. He looked at her and she said Thanks with a lower voice, then went and sat in the auto.
Now he looked a complete idiot- he tried to ask her, where the fuck is your number? But something stopped, he stood there with his hand in the air and head down watching the water stream flowing under him, and asking him the same question which he himself was asking – Idiot what are you doing here? Move out of the way.

Idiot!! Now everyone was calling him that, he raised his head to figure out who, It was Sonal.
Sonal: Idiot – take my number otherwise how would you tell me about yourself.
Rohan: oh yes, I completely forgot.
Sonal: is it??

He realized that he wasn’t a complete IDIOT.
After exchanging the numbers she went back to the auto, Now both his head and hand were up and he was waving at her, then suddenly the auto stopped and she came running into him, kissed him on the lips and then started running towards the auto, shouting “This was for giving company in the rain”.
Now he realized that he was not at all an IDIOT and started feeling the rain, he took another auto for his room. Her images still lingered in his eyes and her voice echoed in his ears. “ Is this love “ … na na na.. He thought that once he dates her he will try celebrating it in a diff way not the usual bike…….
Bike!! He shouted at the top of his voice and the auto wala said no bike only auto.

Rohan: Shut up and take me to the stand from where you picked me, there is a disco near that stand take me there.
In this whole scene he completely forgets that he has a bike which may be now laying in the disco stand, waiting for his master. What an idiot , he gave the auto wala the fair and ran into the stand and was happy to see his bike still there . He touched it, removed the water from the seat and then started it.

Now , “Is this love” idiot “this is loss of memory go see a doctor’. Then he drove back home.

Few days past he was still in the dilemma “Call Don’t Call”, he was dawdling with this from last 2 days. Sometimes when he picks up to call, the thought of her not calling first stops him. He was not able to sleep after that rainy night not because of her but fever, cold and when temp was low her thought's too . One fine morning he picks up and dialed her up as he cannot see himself in this distress any further.

Rohan: Hello, how are you?
Sonal: Hi, I’m fine! Who are u?
Taken aback she doesn’t have my number stored, but she stored -in front of me that night, she deleted it as I was late in calling, or she never stored it.

Sonal: Hello…
Rohan: Hey It’s Rohan, Rohan Bakshi
Sonal: Which Rohan, I don’t know any one by that name. Sorry Wrong number.
Rohan: I met you in Dis……
She hung up, it took some time for Rohan to realize what happened and when he realized that, his Nokia 2200 was flying in the air to meet its inevitable – The Wall.

to be contd........

Eternal Love (II)- The Encounter

2008-08-19T22:50:00.007+05:30

Almost 2 years after the disco night….
It was raining heavily since last 2 days, the windows and the doors were left open as Sonal loved the touch of cold moisten wind during the rains on her body. She certainly loves the rain and he definitely hates the rain. He couldn’t even hear the commentary properly because of the rain drops hitting the balcony and the winds splashing the window’s panes. Even when he tries to concentrate a bit more the clouds ruin it, making sounds even deaf can hear. He was totally pissed of and she was enjoying the rain lying next to him.

Sonal: Do you love me?
Rohan: What?
Sonal: Perfect answer you won a date with Bipasha.
There goes a slap on the back not forceful but certainly enough to divert Rohan’s attention from the football match going on the TV.

Sonal: I’m lying almost half naked next to you and you are seeing the guys running all around in shorts. Your sexual feelings are alright na or something happening inside you.?
Rohan: no no…Sorry

Holding her hand and bringing close to his lips he told ‘off course I love you’.

Sonal: Then what so interesting on TV?
Rohan: It was just that Args are loosing.. oh ok forget it. Tell.
Sonal: What can you do for me?
Rohan: Oh you want to play Bollywood – Bollywood? “Jaan de sakta hun”.
Sonal: Crap ..That I can take anytime, you are at my mercy and she extended her head and kissed him on the cheeks.
Rohan: oh oh.. “Bribe”.. tell?
She started smiling, and said that she wanted to date Tom Cruise.

Rohan: What?
Sonal: Again wot?? You don’t remember?
Rohan: I do remember your dream of dating the smartest guy in the world ?
Sonal: Yes correct, After all these years I have decided that lucky guy would be ‘Tom Cruise’, although he had some tough competition from Jackie Chan.
Rohan: Jackie.. Jackie Dada.. ha ha ha ha…
Sonal: Shut up. So please do something, I want to date him.
Rohan: Yup, one of my frnd has his number , I’ll call him and will arrange a matin…meeting. Trying to control his laughter.
Sonal: Good, I must start preparing for the date from now only. The dresses, the makeup, the jokes, the cond…
Rohan broke into laughter, and after few beating and slang’s by Sonal he calmed down.

Rohan: Ok . Do you remember the Disco night when we first met?
Sonal: Off course, who can forget the worst day of my life, which ruined everything.
Rohan: Worst day of your life?? Worst day of my life, I left so many girls just for you.
Sonal: Hmm!! Who is stopping you? Go your are free.
Her eyes moisten, before she starts crying, Rohan kissed her on the lips passionately, and she threw his head away saying- “enough enough” and started smiling.

Rohan: I love you.
Sonal: I know, so what were you saying about that night?
Rohan: Actually, at that night I was trying to coax one of your friends.
Sonal: Oh gr8, and now you’re telling me. Who was she? Ritu, Geeta, Rashmi, Sheetal
Rohan: Sheetal.
Sonal: Pathetic -your choice is just like you.
Rohan: Jealous!! Okies listen, actually I tried to go through the old funda “Pehle dost and then the friend”. So the net was spread for her, with you as bait but you turned out to be the prey. Never ready to leave the net for other fishes. You ruined that night for me.

This time she was not angry rather they both started laughing

Sonal: Sheetal !!! She is still unmarried and single, you want me to talk to her. Ha ha ha!! Take your time she will always remain single until her father find some one for her. You are one sleazy idiot.
Rohan: Yup I know.
Sonal: Do you really want me talk to her.
Rohan: No no. I love you.
Sonal trying to be a sycophant said Rohan lets trade her for Tom Cruise.

Rohan: You can have Tom Cruise, I don’t need any girl b’coz I have a beautiful, sexy, adorable wife.
Sonal: Even I also have a smart, sweet, loving hubby so I also don’t need Tommy; u can scum that desire of mine.
Rohan: Good.
Sonal: For time being.

They started laughing, the ambiance changed once his eyes met hers, it was love all over them, they kissed and hugged each other, and he lay next to her embracing her tightly, with his eyes dampened.

to be contd......

Eternal Love (I)- The Intro....

2008-08-19T01:59:00.008+05:30

50–60-70– 80-90-100 there it goes -it was one of the fewest occasion his Pulsar crossed the 100 mark barrier on the Delhi-Noida high way.“Bakshi slow down” his friend sitting at the back was shouting at the top of his voice but nothing could deter him now, as this was his way of celebrating.

Celebration – yup this was his exotic way of celebrating a unique accomplishment. Well this celebration was not for coming 1^st in class or cracking the prestigious IIT exams or any medical Entrance or any other normal events which triggers any kind of celebration. It was something special – a kind of accomplishment in which lies his vanity -that was dating gals and then pinning them down. The crown ‘Casanova’ was bestowed upon him by his friends and some of his admirers also tagged him as real time SRK. Well this celebration was for another girl falling for his charisma.

Mr Rohan Bakshi was not the same person initially when he landed in Delhi, he did his 10^th and 12^th from a small school in a small town in Chhattisgarh. Typical youth coming to Delhi for coaching so that he may get through any good Engineering college priority being IIT. His friend use to tell him that he landed on wrong side of the country, he should be in Mumbai pursuing a career in Bollywood or modeling rather slogging for engineering. He used to ignore them and some time will burst laughing on their marks. He was talented, a very good singer, a very good story teller, a good mimic, had loads of jokes in his stocks which could please any one in this world.

The first year of his struggle was in vain, he couldn’t crack IIT and because of his confidence, he didn’t even sit for other Exams. He felt bad asking his parents to support him for the second time preparation. This guilt and need for financial assistance brought him to Call centre job. He found everything related with the job very luring and soothing- night job, good money, hot- broad minded gals, minimum qualification for the post and above all he will get time in morning for his classes and studies. This job changed many things for him, his Enng preparation took a sudden break , he started liking gals, all the parties and outing which he had with his colleagues changed his perception towards gals . Now he knows how to handle them and what pleases them, he has become the master in the act of dating gals and then sleeping with them. Nothing in his life now was more important than gals. Before he could realize he has already developed some kind of addiction for girls, he would do anything just to have the company of gal -in short he was the “Ranjith of bollywood “ only difference was that he won’t indulge in any kind of sinful activity, he believed in everything happening with mutual understanding-no force.

All the gals he dated ,with none he was emotionally attached nor did he love anyone. He never used to feel bad or guilty on breaking anyone’s heart; even he used to make marriage promises but in the end it doesn’t even matter. This has now become his life style and he loved every bit of it. Every day a new challenge. new gal , a new style for trapping her. None of his relationship lasted very long nor did it took him much time to date a new girl.

Everything was smooth in his life but somewhere a tornado was approaching him…..

She was a typical Delhi gal, she was in 12^th std but instead of concentrating on her career she dreamed of dating the smartest guy in the whole world, well her dream has no boundaries but facing the reality she decided to narrow it down to Delhi. She's the spoiled brat, use to watch movies-bunking the tuitions. Grabbing extra money from home for extra tuitions and using those money in beauty parlor and buying dresses, spending the time with other gals in the happening places of Delhi like disco, coffee joins and other places where you get the maximum possibility of picking up a hot dude. She used to do all the things which even guys would dare to do at that age …. That's Sonal Muteja.

Seeing the world in altogether different canvas, where everything is multi-dimensional filled with colors which have no meaning in itself but they are there because they need to be there. Never believed in love and hated those gals who believed in ‘Sex after marriage’ or those gals who believed in QSQT and DDLJ. Only thing she liked about DDLJ was Switzerland and SRK style of flirting. Rest all was crap for her. She believes in dumping the guy before he can even think of that. She totally and completely believes in one-night stand. First drag, first booze, first date, first night out, first BF, first dump she loved every bit of his life which was out of box and nothing normal in it.

Like Rohan, Sonal also has a unique reason to celebrate. Dumping his Boy Friend calls for a party she hits the discotheques with his frnd , and at home it will be another late night Birthday party at his friends place. Her friends use to say that she is very lucky to have such excuses work every time and she would retort –“ Luck favors the daring and the daring will get the best F*** of life”.
A gal every guy would want as a GF but dare to fall in love or have her as wife.

In one of the disco's she ran into him or can say he ran into her-come on....anyways they both ran into each other and they never new that this would have a huge impact on their lives..........

Sonal: Hi!
Rohan:Heloooo!
Rohan:Single?
Sonal: Nope.
Rohan: where is he??
Sonal: Don't worry , he won't kick you for talking with me.
Rohan: ha ha , No i was just concerned that i may not kick him , if he doesn't allow me to talk with you .

She smiled and then both of them hit the dance floor.....

To be contd......

Choose Life

2008-07-15T12:20:00.007+05:30

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television,
Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got a fucking IT JOB which pays you hell lot of money?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From long I needed some kind of break (Vacation)- probably to settle few days on the jungles of Himalaya , to visualize the simmering promises and images that I see glittering in the sky , to solve the mysteriously written life by god and to some extent by me. Then I realized that with my untended intellect had to lean on the crutch of faith to negotiate the inscrutability of life.

Could not have defined it better than the above short poem by John in Trainspotting .

PS:courtesy Trainspotting - John Hodge . If one is not getting the feel of this poem then plz do watch the Movie at least initial 20 minutes.

Sporty weekend -hangover – Jaane Tu …ya jane na.

2008-07-07T14:24:00.006+05:30

Loads happened last weekend, full drunk on Friday night, had debates with friends that ‘adjustment’ and ‘compromise’ are same. One of my roomie missed the chances of going onsite b’coz of some idiotic and ‘F’ reason. So alcohol was the only thing with anodyne properties in this abrupt situation which can soothe him, well chicken would also have done the trick but we choose Whiskey. Oh yes we tried to encourage him but even our empathy were not sufficient to calm him down – the drinks did it and after gulping down few pegs he snored heavily. “Rest for the disjunct soul”. I was the last one to entertain the guests, but finally I also gave up on the crap discussion and retired to my room, leaving others to carry on.

It would be unfair if I don’t mention the 'friends' that were missed that nite, Guys partying seems to be boring without u ppl.

Woke up on Saturday morning with the worst hangover ever I guess, well every time I had the same feeling that it is worse than the previous hangover. Promises ‘no to drinks’ then changing the promise again to ‘less drink’. Head ache, body pain and above all had to go for Jane Tu..ya jane na – scheduled at fun cinemas 10 km from my flat at 12.30 afternoon.

Huge expectation from the movie but the movie was a result of mix bag of the previous movies like ‘Chalte Chalte’ , ‘Tujhe Meri Kasam’ and to some extend ‘Socha na Tha’. Actually we thought that it would be a college flick, but it turned out to be friendship – romantic movie. Imran was good – perfect launch pad for him and he may not be as good as Aamir/Hrithik (in their 1st mv) but he is much better than lot of other kiddo (new comer) in the block. The music is nice, the comic part is kool, Rathna Pathak is incredible, there is some slow n boring patches in the middle part of the movie but still worth watching.

Came back from the Theatre, saw the pole position for the Sunday race (British Grand Prix), it was unusual. It was Heikki Kovalainen for the first time in his career taking the pole position. Watched another clash between the ‘Williams’ sisters in the Wimbeldon final the ‘big sis’ proving better for the ‘lil sis’, winning the title for consecutive time.

Slept well and early Saturday night, woke up early Sunday morning, finished the office work quickly knowing that the afternoon would be sporty hectic.
Asia cup final – India loosing miserably to Sri Lanka thanks to their new star Mendis. No more writing on this, it will unleash my wrath at BCCI.
F1 - Lewis Hamilton wins his home race, the final championship standing with 9 races left is amazingly well balanced.

1. Lewis Hamilton- British- McLaren-Mercedes -48

2. Felipe Massa - Brazilian- Ferrari - 48

3. Kimi Räikkönen - Finnish- Ferrari -48

4. Robert Kubica - Polish- BMW Sauber - 46

But….. The star of the Sunday Evening / Late night was Wimbledon Final, the clash of the titans, the clash of skill and determination, the clash of class and the youth, the clash of world no 1 and world no 2, the clash between the great Roger Federer and the improving Rafael Nadal. What a match it was , Roger hitting aces at crucial points, Nadal running like a rabbit on the baseline firing the ball in, Roger trying to hit winners but most of the time he found Nadal at the base line hitting the ball with his typical forehand spin shot or powering the ball with his two handed backhand. No match for Nadal in the first 2 sets, but Roger won’t go down so easily, took the 3^rd set to tie breaker and won it. Similar things happened in the follow up set but this time Nadal missed on many championship point and Roger again saved his run for the 6^th consecutive title to equal Bjorn Borg’s record for 6 straight Wimbledon titles.

Before the Match

For me I was supporting Nadal but wanted Federer to win, my friend sitting by myside question my such weirdo kind of desire but the bottom line was I don’t want any of them to loose.

All set for the 5^th and final set, deduce-advantage has now become the routine, with no player ready to allow the other to break. What more can you ask for a final, grueling display of skill, stamina and mental strength. Finally after four+ hrs (not including the 2 + hours of rain delay) epic battle ended , with Wimbeldon seeing a new holder of the cup- Rafael Nadal. He crumbled to the ground in jubilation and tears, did some trekking stuffs to meet his parents and family sitting in the stands.

Nadal won 6-4,6-4,6-7,6-7,9-7 becoming the only player after Bjorn Borg to win both Wimbledon and the French Open in the same year. This year is for Spain -another reason to celebrate after Torres sensational goal which helped them to win a major title in 44 years - Euro Cup '08.

After the Match - Perfect spirit displayed thru out the match and even after the match, both player complementing each other in their short speech.

Smoked the last drag – delighted by the fact that I was lucky to watch such a final and then off to bed.

The Rear Window

2008-07-01T13:01:00.007+05:30

Mom: Why u bathing now?
I was silent, was getting late and didn’t want to start an argument with mom.

Me: Mom!! Get my jeans n that white round neck t-shirt out.
Mom: White t-shirt, no no.. it took me ½ hour to clean it, u ruin it every time u wear it.

Me: PLZ!!!
Mom: Ok! But u have to clean it, I’m not cleaning it.
Me: ok, no probs.

Came out , went straight to the mirror , to see how fair I was looking J. NA na .. not kool, applied “Fair n Lovely” , rotated my skull in all direction so that every part visible above my torso was covered. My friends were shouting in front of the house, “Hurry Up ”,We are getting late. Since half n hour I was telling them 5 minutes. But that won’t deter me to examine myself one more time. Hmmm… not bad, a little powder (Talcum) would make me perfect. All that time, mom was standing behind me and noticing everything. Finally she couldn’t resist.

Mom: What are you doing? u r not getting married today nor going to attend one. Then why so much of decoration n fuss!!
Me: Decoration!!!

No no.. clam down… no arguments .. already late. Will handle this “Decoration “adjective once back.

Mom: God!! What has happened to this Boy “Cricket khelne ke liye itna tyari kar raha hai and that too in colony, just in front of the house.”

Now here’s the background. A new neighbor has just moved in last week, just diagonal to my house, she was slim n fair (now u know why so much of prep for looking fair) with beautiful eyes n wicked smile, wicked- b’coz the first time our eyes met yesterday she gave me a wicked smile. Don’t know what was her relationship with the Uncle and Aunty ..who cares? May be Daughter may be not .

Yeah !! I was not in the best of shape that time… so what would one expect of a boy coming from 7 hours of torture at school and that too the day when he has GAME’S period in the last, shirt half in half out, one lace tied - other exploring the universe, tie pulled down to the belly, hair in a mess, bottle in one hand - rotating it at full speed.

This full preparation was to erase the impression she must have developed yesterday of me and to ensnare her. Got out of the house, with full swing of the hair, just like a hero making an entry in to the Movies for the 1^st time. Y this b’coz I had already seen her watching from the window. Thanks to my friends for giving me such publicity … they where shouting my name from half n hour. J

Frnd1: B****… kya kar raha tha be?

Taken a back…

Me: No slang today yaar.

They were shocked , b’coz first I didn’t greet them by my typical slang and above all king of slang is telling no to it..

Frnd2: What???? Are u okay.?
Me: Ya ya.. let’s start.

Was under-performing today ..no sixes no fours ..no wickets... We have rules while playing at colony. Although there were many but this one is important.

Rule: If a batsman hit the ball into someone’s garden, he is out and he has to get the ball also.

Now u can imagine why I was hitting no sixes n fours. This was the 4^th time I hit the ball in her garden, Previous 3 times I didn’t gather the courage to talk to her, this time no excuse b’coz it may be last as the Sun was setting down and I may not get another chance to bat. She was there in the window thru out our evening’s play, few time off, but most of the time glued to the seat, watching us play.

Me: Hi! U love cricket it seems?
She: Nope!! Not that much.
Me: Then also you watching us play!!
She: Hmmm..
Me: Pretending to find the ball, although I have already seen where it was laying.
She: It dropped there.
Me: Oh ok..here!!
She: no there.
Me: I was thinking that I should ask her to come out n help me. But…. That’s me ..
She: There it is just near your left leg.
Me: Oh here it is- Idiot. Picked up and started juggling it, So ..what’s u r name?
She: ****
Me: Ok which class ??
She: 9^th .
Me: B******.. wat ?? there it goes, every thing comes crumbling down.

She is older than me.. I was in 7^th std .. that too 2 years… That’s not fair. Now I need to call her “DIDI” henceforth; this is the way we were brought up in our society.

No No.. I won’t do that.
Me: oh great .. I’m also in 9^th.
Lie is the best and first step to approach a gal. I learned that by watching SRK movies J

Me: It’s getting dark, bye!!
She:bye!!

Well I started retracing my steps -disappointed. After few days she came to know that I was not in 9^th, when i reasoned it out y i lied it made her laugh.

We were friends now, mind you just friends. Then she went out of station for higher studies after her board Exams, few months in the starting we were in contact, then lost track.

Few days back MOM informed me that she got married few months back.

I know this is not the perfect ending but this is not a movie also .

(.......)

2008-06-11T12:29:00.008+05:30

Again chain of sleepless night, don’t know what’s happening? Watching movies, checking mails, chatting,listening songs, reading, and surfing - these activities have become a regular night curriculum from few days. Well this is not the first time it’s happening but generally this phase gets over pretty soon but this time it’s getting prolonged.

Present state – restless nights, day dreaming, deep thoughts.
Trying to find out what mind, heart, soul, body wants???

Job- when there was no work, was longing for one.
Now when work is there, don’t feel like working.

Want my student life back.
Tension free
Enjoy every day.
Live life to the fullest.

“Mama take this job from me
I can't work anymore
It's getting dark too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door”

Probably i need a long vacation
go somewhere..enjoy , think, relax
take a break from routine.

Trying to run away from (……). Don’t know what?
Trying to run towards (……). Don’t know what?

Trying to find out the hidden depths,
Trying to ease the pain,
Trying to sleep

Can say I have become comfortably numb.

PS: This piece was written few days back, was planning to post the day when I would be out of this phase. It happened and now I can sleep.

Face 2 Face with God.

2008-05-31T12:29:00.007+05:30

Long hours of staring at the laptop screen looking at the black and white code which resembles my colorless life, marching close towards developing asthenopia or already developed only God knows. Eyes almost closed, my head about to fall on the table when suddenly heard a voice…

God: Beta !
Me : Papa!

God: Main tumhara baap nai hun.. Open your eyes son. Main sab ka baap hun!!
Me: Amitabh???

God: No No! Bollywood ke duniya se bhar aao. I’m GOD!
Me: What the F…

God: No slang, you are in front of God.
Me: Oops, sorry. Which god? I mean Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh or some other Foreigner God like Jesus.. o o oh.. I don’t remember any other foreign god’s name. Sorry Again.

God: Plzz.. Now you can go back to bollywood. “Bhagwan ek hai- we identify them with different names”.
Me: ok ok. So why are you here? Do you want me to construct some temples/mosques/churches ?

God: No No.
Me: Then anything important? One second I always have a short prayer after bath – in case you don’t know.

God: I know that. It’s just a regular visit. If you need any help. I try to cover most of the people whenever I get free time, today is your turn.
Me: Ok so you often visit people.

God: Only on free time.
Me: Oh ok. So you are also busy?? Gr8.

God: Yes. It’s same like a job of an IT professional – No Work /Very Busy.
Me: And what about Job satisfaction.

God: Please let’s not go in to this.
Me (To myself): He also has a job problem probably came down to look for one, but why me , he should have contacted HR peoples.

God: Hello!!
Me: Yes yes. So tell me what you want from me?

God: That’s the question I must be asking you.
Me: Ok. Happiness and good health for my family.

To Myself: What was that? I could have asked for million dollars ..y y millions.. Uncle Scruz Bank infact or some hot blonde gal as my Gf and some sundar, sushil and wealthy Wife. CEO of some big multi-national company, anything I could have asked for. Any ways chance gone.

God: Gud. I’m very happy that you care so much about your family.
To Myself: That was a mistake dude..sorry god!!.

God: Anything else you would like me to do.
Me: It struck me, Wait a sec. so you came here for something special and you know that’s missing in my life.

God: No no, it’s not like that!!
Me: Come on!! If you know what’s missing then why you want to hear it from my mouth. Ok so you want to embarrass me. So let do it your ways.

God: It’s not like that, I don’t want to hurt or embarrass you, it’s just my routine question, I ask it to everyone after my first question.
Me: Hmm. Actually I have lot’s of questions/things, the list is long can I mail you if you have a mailing address ?

God: No son. No service provider above.
Me: Ok. No probs. Rite now I need sleep, I’m very tired.
There it goes screwed my second chance also.

God: As you wish son. Good Night!!
Me: wait wait.. how can I get in touch with you? Or if I need your help.

God: No need. I’ll be in touch with you and I’m always there to help you- that’s service comes as default and free.
Me: Great. Bbye!!

No reply!! He has already gone.
Few minutes later I slept and snored heavily.

I was cursing myself when I got up in the morning that I screwed up an opportunity to be rich, famous, and renowned. Disappointment precludes me from getting up from the bed, so I thought of contemplating more on the purpose of his visit.
Long thoughts long discussion with me, brain cells fighting within my head for the righteous answer none succeeding though.

Finally concluded that the sole purpose of GOD visiting me was to make sure that I don’t loose faith in him or probably he may have seen that i am on the path of destroying it, although I was not converted to atheists or he may have thought I would have converted to one in near future. May be any of these reasons.

It was a message - do any thing you undertake with pure heart and commitment not too concerned about the outcome, he will always be there beside you taking care of all the issues and fighting along side you in overcoming all the hindrances coming your way.

Just go full throttle!! God hai na. !!

This post should be taken in the best of the spirit, in no ways I’m hurting anyone religious feelings/beliefs or mocking God. My earnest apologies in advance just in case.

Life has been fast and unpredictable in last few days.In the End -- Californication

2008-04-15T15:46:00.002+05:30

Away from Blogging – b’coz of last few days in fact few months, courtesy Life. Some one said “Life is a perfect example of Life itself”. Unfolding few of the pages- don’t remember the dates can say I’m not “Subodh” or occurrence of events were so fast that dates could not find a slot in mind.

Tired from the clichéd and useless work which even a 10^th grade can do – People tag it as Job Satisfaction having true or false as value but for me it was null. So decided to appear for Interviews- that phase was fulsome, in some of the face to face discussion I thought of either hitting the person on the other side of the table or to be on the polite side just get up from the seat and walk out of the room. After having gulped down lot of these I was finally selected in one and they were ready to offer me. Was very exited , came back home prepared the resignation mail and was all set to send it. Friends they are God in these conditions they stopped me, Blessed advice “Jab tak offer hath me na aa jaye Resign nai karne ka”. I did so n c Till date I didn’t get any offers from them. They rejected me on salary issues even though I mentioned in the ECTC- Negotiable. Lucky Escape!!.

Not that lucky though .Was thrown out from the project or can say from my client – Company facing financial problems resulting to downsizing. So from the luxury of having 2 jobs in hand I was reduced to none -left in shocked state and in dismay. For the first time in my IT career I was on bench and was feeling the prick, many people were thrown out , so it was tough for the HR people to get all of them placed. The Scenario was looking horrible and the chances of it getting worse were brighter. Few days from then was scheduled for a client interview – was so nervous that I screwed it up. The result was put on hold and was entitled for another round. That another round was to happen anytime basically I would be informed about it few hours or a day before. Cancelled my Megadeth show b’coz of this.

Finally had an interview and was selected, then came the news that guys selected for the project would be traveling (ONSITE) and since I was selected late for that project so till then I didn’t have the client approval to travel. 50-50 chance. Happiness came along with toppings of sadness. My head was swimming as I returned back home from office—thinking so much happened in a day- Selected for a project- Work is good- Missed onsite – May have a chance of traveling in future. That Life’s - it’s ambages has taken me everywhere and left me nowhere.

Sipping the tea and adding fumes of cigarette to the pollution thinking “Ab kya goga”, got a call from unknown number, Credit Card / Personal loan / Home loan .. hmm.. U people are gone today “Maa behan se kaam me baat nai hoga aaj”--- as I picked up the call full prepared to have a go at them “U r Traveling, bring u r passport tmrw to office” – It was my HR. O o oh .. Man I was happy called up my Parents, my friends and every one close to me..Gosh!! they were happy too.

Gave the Passport Xerox the next day, started filling the Visa , got the Visa interview dates . It took me 2 days to arrange for the Visa documents and some of the documents required were missing also. Finally got everything ready and gather as many tips required for Visa interview from people who has been thru this. My office friends told me not to go in a particular counter as the Lady there is strict and rejects VISA also and mine was scheduled in that particular counter only. I was full nervous but anyways I got my stamping. J. Before i could realize anything dates were fixed ,tickets were booked . It all happened so fast that it's sometimes hard to believe. It’s business trip so duration is very small but it’s fine for me I’m happy.

Finally I’m traveling today nite to CALIFORNIA. But as u say “Jab tak Videsh nai paunch jao tab tak tum India me hee ho”….. So guys wait for the next update. Hopefully I’ll write the next post from US.

Now time to update the City/State in orkut and photos too.....

The Fear brings an iota of Relieve

2008-02-14T00:50:00.000+05:30

Fear Fear… it’s good my friend.. that will set u r moderate life style afire. If you don’t fear anything u r nothing. Fear fuels u up to go beyond u r limits and perform miracles in your field which would never have been possible under normal circumstances. Fear of failing in exams pumps me up to give an extra hour form my precious sleep to study, but for my friends it was the fear of not getting distinction that keeps them awake all night . Fear nourishes u irrespective of the environment u dwell in. Fear in life should not be taken as a punishment or a force which pulls u down but it should be taken as a challenge to blossom.
The very reason I’m venting this into words is b’coz I’m living in a constant fear of ruining my career in present Work Place, the fear of losing whatever I know in coding , the logic, the creative part in me, the fear of killing the baby programmer in me which is destined to be a man in future. Now this Fear comes as a relieve to me, a blessing in disguise which prompts me too look for a new and a better WP. It won’t allow me to sit idle until it has done its part. People have all sort of fears , fear of getting hit while crossing a road makes u extra careful when doing so, fear of u r credit card bill crossing u r monthly salary keeps a check in u r love for shopping n partying. Fear of getting married.. that’s the big one “Baap of all Fears” which is presently haunting most of my friends who don’t want to get married and fear of not getting a proper bride which troubles some of my friends who wants to get married .With marriage is attached the fear of not getting a proper value in the market(Dowry) in case of arranged marriage and for lovers is the fear of getting married with family consent. The IT market as the pundits says is on slow down and will face lot’s of downsizing and less iteration hike as compared to its history- provoke each and every IT professional to give more than 100% in their work and stick to the same company as of for now.
Today is the V day— ‘Lovers Days’ – Ladka-Ladki will meet an enjoy the day with a terse of fear in everyone ,how long will this relationship last? will it go the final stage ‘Marriage’ and some will have the fear that by next V day will they be with the same partner . In both the cases fear acts as a catalyst to help them achieve what they desire for the next V day—new partner or marry the present V day partner. :). So peoples take this fear as source of inspiration to move forward rather than taking it as a obstacle in u r life. Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all.. have rocking n loving evening. And for peoples with no partner .. all d best to have one in near future and hope by next Valentine u find one. Keep Fearing.

Scribble

2008-01-08T12:06:00.000+05:30

This piece may appear to readers as a manuscript written by Franz Kafka , but no my writing is not that lucrative and meaningful as his. I’m writing this b’coz it’s been long since I wrote something, reason may be many- Office work had carved out the creative part from me although the percentage was less, late night slogging , waking up late in the morning b’coz of this chilling weather , spending the rest of the time playing HITMAN after returning from office, depressed by the New Year celebration ,o oh –no celebration, planned few things for the eve but all crumbling down at last moment , no one to blame – it was fate which eluded GOA trip from us. SO THOUGHT OF SCRIBBLING LESS OF SENSE AND MORE OF NONSENSE WHICH PRESENTLY HAS A HOLD ON ME.

Planning to go home Feb end, but sill leave not applied , tickets not booked, delaying it, mapping it to the next day -every day, but that next day never comes- god knows why? I know the result of it, will book the tickets the day when the price will be very high.. that’s how I am.. and then crib over it. Need to change Work-Place but not able to study , so that’s also on a hold, wake up in the morning fondled whole night by the dreams, which gives me hope and after opening my eyes I brutally kill those hopes with my own monstrous hand. I wanted to buy a car, everything was planned but that’s also put on hold b’coz of some vicarious reasons.

Idle time, I’m all lost in contemplations – happy ones though, thinking of having this –that and off course if I had that also then it would make my life wonderful, planning of doing this for career perspective, doing that for health perspective, planning of doing something which would end my long season of sleeping wid books and waking up alone in the morning. Today is my Result day – although I know my stand before hand but still hope is there, that the people may do some mishap n I may get good result—Height of optimism. I’m nervous too, don’t know why.. probably after 2 long years , I would get judged on all India basis.

Enough of it—I guess otherwise this will turn into loads of crap :-), and I’m hungry too so going for lunch, can’t ask my friends to wait for a little more time.

Happy New Year to everyone. Hope this year everyone gets their dreams fulfilled even not all of it but at least some part .

GBU!!!!

Johnny met Sonny :)

2007-12-17T15:25:00.000+05:30

Saturday evening , scheduled to meet at CCD, ‘Date’ Ya Ya , call it a date. He was looking at his watch, waiting for ‘Sonny’, was before time and that too half n hour early, ‘that’s bad’ he said to himself, as it shows desperation n gals don’t like desperate guys. Excuses are needed to give Sonny for coming early. His mind started recalling all the Bollywood excuses, he decided whatever he picks from those list it should be terse. Hmm..better to say that “5 min phele hee ayaa hun”. Ya that’s better..’Terrific Johnny’ , he said to himself.

But what to do now, he swept a look covering every corner of the CCD , people yacking at every table, no one sitting idle and alone, suddenly a thought hit him “What if any of his frnd see him there sitting all alone”, although none of his frnd will ever come to CCD on Saturday evening that’s the time to booze at pub. “Forget it” he said to himself , will see when it comes.

He had waited long to meet her, weeks of messaging and talking on phone late nights, spoiling his sleep, all these crap things he thought, had brought him to this moment, this brought a smile(crooked one) on his face . Never seen her before , so decided on a dress code which would be helpful in recognizing each other. The lyrics of the song from the movie “MDK” was flowing in his head . “Andheki anjanai si, pagli si deewani si, na jane kaise hogi woh”. Sonny’s voice was all charming, sexy and glittering , from that he framed a image of her in his mind/heart, though voice and looks have no synergy, but that’s the way one’s imagination defines and relate things.

All of a sudden his Nokia N72 started making noise, disturbing his thought process, it was her, he picked it up, “I’m there, Where r u ?” she said, “Inside , corner table” he said , as his heart started pounding heavily. She walked inside the CCD passing all the tables and fast approaching him, he raised his hand and his eyes scanning her as if looking for bugs in her, “She is hot and certainly beddable!!!”(courtesy –Company of women), Aaah!! That’s the problem of reading Khushwant Singh (No offense ).

Sonny: Hi!
Johnny: Hello!

Sonny: “Sorry I was late”.
Johnny: “Na na, I’m early , you are on time”. What was that ? I never saw that coming, minutes before I was looking for excuses and here I am admitting.

He was still staring at her, as she was going thru the Menu. “I hate this silence” he said. Someone should initiate to get out of it. What to say????

Sonny : “Let’s order something , I’m hungry ”.
Johnny: Gr8 she broke the ice, gals and eating are Synonyms I guess. “Ya please go ahead ”.

Sonny : One Chicken Sandwich with cheese , one French fries and one ice lemon tea.
Johnny: God I guess she ordered for both of us.

Sonny: “Yeh Johnny”. What for u man.?
Johnny: Only ice lemon tea. Why “only” in that statement, that’s for sarcasm , he giggled.

Sonny: Actually I skipped my lunch , was busy with something.
Johnny: It’s fine Yaar. “Busy” in what? It came out of my mouth, the very thought of its consequences chilled my blood, b’coz this mark the entry of unrelated , uninterested bulk of nonsense hitting my ears shortly of which I was least bothered.

Sonny: Nothing of that importance, just routine weekend stuff.
Johnny: That’s it, I thought. She suddenly took me off the hook. I was happy. “So..” before I could complete my sentence -her phone started ringing.

Sonny : Sorry, Excuse me.
Johnny: Hmm!! That will give me some time now to glare at her and reformulate myself. She was beautiful, minimal make up, no jazzy jewels. Simple yet appealing in her Blue jeans and white T-shirt. She was laughing ,that made me angry who was on other side, that reminded me of the late night talks where I made her laugh. Finally She hung up. I was about to Ask “Who was it”.

Sonny: It was bro. U were saying something.
Johnny: Ya, I forgot.

Sonny: What?
Johnny: Actually the throw of u r beauty are killing my brain cells and my senses. “Bravo Johnny” that’s the way.

Sonny: She started smiling. "U r too much" she said

And that was just the beginning of long awaited love for both of them, lot’s of such meeting that marked the era of new phase in life for them. The ‘Lust’ of the first date with Sonny was converted into everlasting ‘Love’ for Johnny.

They still meet and talk on phone late nights but it’s not the talk or words which connects them. Basically Words define Us but Love connects Us.

Kholo Kholo!!!

2007-11-28T10:36:00.000+05:30

Song from Tare Zameen Par. Well this is a unique post as everyone does a MV review or Music Review of that MV. Here I ‘m doing the song review ,will give u a weirdo impression about me, but that won’t stop me from voicing my feeling . The Song is stewed in me, it has replaced my morning raga “Comfortably Numb-Pink Floyd ” which was ruling my personal charts for a long time.

Music !!!
Music is like second name for life, without music I’ll be lifeless but still breathing . It’s so much a part of my daily routine that I used to have set of songs(playlist) for different moods, Alas! mood swing r quite frequent for me so my playlist and even the songs on those playlist keeps on changing on hourly basis so dropped the idea of maintaining one. Better way is to pick the song depending upon the liking that very moment from the pool of songs which I have in my 320 GB hard disk.

Song selection!!
My ears are accustomed to every genre of songs, be it Gazals , Hindi movie songs, Pop, Classic, Rock, Hard Rock, to some extent hip-hop also. Any kind of noise which is soothing to my ears , I simply love them, n start listening to it ,b’coz after the acceptance of u r ear, u start paying heed to lyrics, vocal n music which formulate it.

Desparation!!!
“Kholo kholo darwaje, parde karo kinare, khoote se bandhi hai hawa , milke chudao yaaron” slowly but steadily started pleasing my ears. The promos of the new Aamir Khan (I hope I wrote the spelling correctly as he keeps on adding “As” to his name) had taken rapid speed n the airing of the song was also frequent , so used to hear this a lot on TV. Suddenly I started enjoying it n wanted to listen it non-stop n complete version of it until I was fully satisfied or u can say my thirst for the song was quenched. But I was hapless as it was weekend, no net connection at home, n month end so could not afford it also. So has to wait till Monday to go to office n download it. Never in my 2 years of IT life I had awaited so eagerly for Monday.

Reached office, Monday morning downloaded the song, played it and listened it for some time , than thought of passing it to others aficionado friends. They would certainly love it I thought. And yes they do appreciated the song.

The Song!!!
It’s a class act ,the song will reach u step by step once u increase the frequency of listening it on daily basis. Song of inspiration, song of encouragement, song filled with energy, song to hear in solitude as it will give u a good company . Guitar base, soft strumming of strings which slowly turns into soft-rock. After a long time Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy has given a track which is not based solely on Music rather he has paid homage to the mood n feel of the song . Lyrics by Prasoon Joshi is soulful , relentless sync in the lyrics goes perfectly well with guitar strumming in the Background. Check out these lines.

Tu dhoop hain jham se bikhar
Tu hai nadee o bekhabar
Beh chal kahin ud chal kahin
Dil khush jahan teri toh manzil hai wahin.

Motivates u to open up to the world fearless, accessing whatever u always dreamed of n which made u happy. He might have recited these lines keeping in mind that it’s a child movie. But man this works for the younger ones too. Well if u feel that it’s a child’s song than have a look at this irresistible piece of writing .

Tujh mein agar pyaas hai
Baarish ka ghar bhi pass hai
Roke tujhe koi kyon bhala
Sang sang tere aakash hai

These lines are excellently sung by Raman Mahadevan, I have heard him for the first time n believe me his singing ability had left a mark on me and will certainly leave on others too. Giving melodious touch to the song n soft rock vocal when he needed to emphasize more on the lyrics part rather than flow of the music. He is smooth with the flow of music n has given full justice to the Song. Can say the synergy of lyrics n Vocal worked for S.E.L in creating a master piece.

By the time the song ends u will be fully energized n charged . The lines “Tu Dhoop hai” are repeated in the end of the song though a bit different ,as it has drum beats along with guitar as its base component. So guys/gals give it at least a hearing . As if for now I don’t know how long I’ll enjoy this song but presently “I’m Loving it re”.

Office after 10 day break!!!

2007-11-21T13:33:00.000+05:30

10 in the morning ..Lift door opened ,greeted by the guard personnel, I signed the register, swiped the card and enter the office after 10 days of vacation. The office was decorated by Jingle bells and miniature Santa Clauses , oh it was a Christmas celebration –preparation. Feeling of anguish creped on me, as they had not decorated the office for Diwali - Dussera and here they r celebrating Christmas one month before . AAh!!! Am I in INDIA or somewhere in Atlantics??

As I entered the office premises, something irk me, everything around me was moving in Slow Motion – I guess I have entered into the room with a different time frame . Suddenly I felt that these ppl have grown 10 years older in 10 days or have I grown 10 years younger in these 10 days. Silence so profound which riveted me on analyzing others faces as to what had happened to them in these 10 days. Before going on leave they were chirpy block of Software Engineer and now they can be labeled as the “Mugwumps” . Expressionless faces, covered with stress, profuse archaic as if incarcerated . Oh god !!! Help me I think I have entered into the place of UNDEAD, Help Me PLZ…!!! .

Each n Every ppl appear to me a Ghost-Daemon all specialized in different tactics , tricks and posses power to turn the “New one into One of them” . They don’t speak ,but still were able to communicate as the staring eyes increases from pairs to many without a single word uttered.

Got into my cubicle, got my laptop on desk , put in the Network cable , logged into office mail n gatlk almost simultaneously . More than 100 virgin mails where residing on my mailbox ,waiting for their BrideGroom. Suddenly I felt surrounded by my team mates and my colleagues as if they have come to Welcome me Back in the graveyard. Before I could make my move they started bombarding me with questions – How was u r vacation? How was u r Diwali? How is everyone back home? Sweets kahan hai? Hey hey !! wait guys… let me breathe …!! Before I could retort, another set of questions were fired. Kab aaye? Flight se aaye ya train se aaye? How is the climate back at home- Cold? Hot? Raining? . I was desperate..wanted to avoid ,ignore these questions…so I turned my attention to the laptop screen. To my dismay !! I was attacked with the same set of question thru world wide web also, PPL sitting on different location was using the messenger to virtually F*** me off. No respite for me , for further 1 hr. Finally they left me, I guess they were satisfied that now I’m one of them. As they left me tattered in pieces, biting me everywhere from body to mind to soul..nothing was left untouched, I looked into their eyes , got a msg “Welcome to The world of UNDEAD”. That’s the way they talk ..thru Eyes..now I have started understanding them.

Oblivious of the effect they had on me, I tried to reconcile ..closed my eyes , their haunting faces, were still there in my memory. I stood up from my seat , walked to the washroom, saw my reflection on the mirror … Could not believe my eyes I was fast turning into one of them. I splashed water on my faces , rubbed the face with hanker chief and got back to my place. My mind started showing me pictures as if it was trying to get back my lost memory.

Very soon I realized everything and my Role. AAH!!! I was one of them before I left for vacation, that long period had energized me, filled me with life , fun , happiness , joy. That’s why I was not able to recognize my friends in office and I felt sorry as I labeled them as Ghost, Daemons and OLD ones. I guess my colleagues didn’t tolerate my indecent behavior and adopted severe means to bring back my “YAD DASH”.

My thought process was interrupted by a signal which diverted my attention to the entrance door, another one enter the office after a long vacation , one of me few hours back, We stood up from our seats, communicating to each other thru eyes and then together we marched towards his cubicle to “Turn him into one of us”.

Fighter........!!!!!

2007-11-06T13:35:00.000+05:30

Daylight shutting down, Night marching in leaps , cultivating frustration , suffused with regret, abrading all the sense , not knowing what to do –mind wandering to distant tracts….Finally something from inside..dictated… Wake up!!! Obeying the command ..Dragged the “Body” ..tired from the traffic, tortured by the daily monotonous routine of office, out of the BED clearing all the smoke fumes, opening the room door…. And deciding.. need a break from this haunting contemplation …NEED A DRINK!!!!!.

This is how his day “End” every day, any day , almost each day. This is the ballad of his life where he remember all the bad memories and wipe out all the good memories. Don’t know how long he’ll carry on leaving life like this ..torturing himself , putting himself on rigorous treachery ..where he betray all his dreams, pay no heed to his laziness , uncanny n unrealistic approach towards anything he undertake and in the end messing up everything.

Think, Plan, determination, motivation, attitude everything generated, everything ready for an Execution ..but when the time comes to deliver ..He find himself a big time loser…seems nothing is falling on places.. Putting all the Blame on Luck, Damn it’s averting …dragging him back to the same dump where he has been laying …don’t know since when.

Trying , trying n Trying to pull himself out …trying to reformulate himself from the pieces, which r scattered all over, trying to achieve a form which has a identity . He has never lost hope in himself, trying different tricks to put the Mind n Heart in sync. Struggling each day but still fighting …..with the world, with his treasonous feelings, with his work , with all the demons betwn him n his dreams , with everyone who believes otherwise and bate him down. He knows he will die fighting against all odds and that too fiercely. These will not slow him down in marching towards what he believes in n wat is presently eludes him.

Bravo DUDE!!!..this World don’t need Survivors they need Fighters. The testament of u r success will enchante one n all.

"Win -Dream" "Lose-nightmare" .. Mother of all series.

2007-11-02T18:09:00.000+05:30

Long awaited series is coming up…”Pakistan Touring India” . A treat for the commentators , spectators, betters. Well this is a Diwali n Eid gift to the two communities which r sadly distinguished in India. This series will be a manifestation of why Cricket lovers all over the world has a vogue for Indo-Pak matches.Both teams have a point to prove .

There has been babbling all over among cricket critics that TTWC win was a fluke and to defeat Pakistan in the full format of 50 overs will be a uphill task . So Mr Dhoni(Indian Captain) gear up u have a point to prove i.e. “Win is never a fluke”. Pakistan…well after their series loss to SA which they were almost certain to win, change of fortune n a typical Sub Continent crash in the last encounter..cost them the match and the series too , are under tremendous pressure. Pressure of playing with India, pressure imposed by the Indian crowd on match day, pressure by the media(Pakistan as well as lit bit off India). So Mr Shoaib (Pakistan Captain)leave the prudery and charge u r self with what Pakistan is famous for….”Aggressiveness”.

Although there is 50-50 chance for both the teams of winning the series..but like every Indian.. I’m certainly looking forward for a complete whitewash .. I know I’m demanding …so let’s come out of my whim and analysis the key players of both the Teams from the fringes of favoritism on neutral Grounds.

Pakistan---“Expect the unexpected”

Every player is a key ..B’coz look at his history of winning streaks..whenever they won ..most of the time it was a team effort..no individuality.
Shoaib Akhtar is back…believe me his aggressiveness n speed will be the key to the Pakistan success in dismantling the Indian openers. He has been down from last few months ..but now is the time to wash all his sins.. If he performs he will be a Hero or else a History ,another chapter in Pakistan cricket will get closed-- unnoticed.
Shoaib Mallik---Boss he has been doing wonders with the Bat once he started dictating Pakistan team as a Captain. Watch out for him in this series he will brandish.
Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan – they r the two pillars of Pakistan Batting line up. It will be a pain in the camp to dislodge them.
Mohammad Asif- Hmmmm..no words for his talent only thing which I can say to Pitch creators don put grass on the pitch.. Otherwise he will make the life of each n every Indian miserable. Thank god he is not playing the initial Two match.

India—“Glorified by the TTWC win”

Always has been a team of one man show…Which helped them to win..whether on Bowling dept or Batting. So no doubt that this time also they depend on someone to deliver the fruits of Victory. They won TTWC ..it was not a fluke ..it was an out n out team Effort leaded by Dhoni n Yuvraj…

Yuviii---aah out n class… If runs flow from his Stick than there is no stopping … He is a master craftsman. People hate him for his attitude n I luv him for that.. If u don’t have attitude u are No one . This is the quality which differentiate u from masses. He lifts the team whether be his fielding or batting to some aspect bowling too until Mascrenas massacred him.
Sachin, Sourav, Zaheer—I put them under one bracket as they are the old horses ..we will look from them “Stability”.
Robin--- God he kills the bowler …with his willow…Difficult to handle when in Flow… tremendous style of batting.
Above all Dhoni--- He is the captain, leader..must must set an example for other.. A very imp series for him. If he crosses this hurdles then he will fall into the elite category of captains.
Irfan--- India need this man to perform at any cost. If he fails in any of the match ..then probably God save us from losing.

Tension is creeping up Guys…as Pakistan has already crucified the Delhi Team convincingly. Will c whether we will have nightmare or dreams at nite.

All d best to Both teams. We expect a good encounter at least…..No one sided match I guess..But Still the odds are favoring India…Big advantage to Home team. Oh yes i missed on a point..Pakistan would be haapy Dhoni had made an untimely visit to the barber shop.. So no luck factor this time.. Go for the Kills guys,unleash our adrenalin .

Schedule of the Action Packed November and first of week of December.

1st ODI: India v Pakistan at Guwahati - Nov 5, 2007 DREAM
2nd ODI: India v Pakistan at Mohali - Nov 8, 2007 NIGHTMARE
3rd ODI: India v Pakistan at Kanpur - Nov 11, 2007DREAM
4th ODI: India v Pakistan at Gwalior - Nov 15, 2007DREAM
5th ODI: India v Pakistan at Jaipur - Nov 18, 2007NIGHTMARE

1st Test: India v Pakistan at Delhi - Nov 22-26, 2007 DREAM
2nd Test: India v Pakistan at Kolkata - Nov 30-Dec 4, 2007
3rd Test: India v Pakistan at Bangalore - Dec 8-12, 2007

Tired of being Sorry....

2007-10-31T16:49:00.001+05:30

This is the line and title of a famous song from Enrigue …..

SORRY …well this is a eraser which erases all u r mistakes or one can say try to put a cover on u r deeds(usually BAD) or blurs the very look of u r so called unsocial activities….. This is the most frequently and widely used English word. Irrespective of any language u speak thru out the world …..if u want to apologize to any one…U will use this Word “SORRY”….. I don’t know who invented it or how this word came in contact with the Human Beings…well that’s history..but they have started misusing it.

When we were kids if we did a mistake, we were quick on the apology act ..then Sorry was a involuntary stimulus response, Something inside us provoked us to utters those words, might be our un-maligned soul which was covered by loads of humanity at that AGE.But now we have traces of them left in us. Imagine of a scenario in present …How many times a day you utter those words..but u never mean when u say “Sorry”. U make an apologize to the Manager of not completing the work on time/coming to office at irregular timings..and many more reason which u face day to life.. But u never mean them as those things are repeated ever n ever ..and finally the Manager will feel Sorry that why he even Questioned u on any issue ..as his concerns never raised an alarm for u but what it brought from u was nothing more than “Sorry”…
AAhhh..u collided with a beautiful gal (may be mistake/may be deliberate) and u say sorry..But u inside know that u r not ….in spite u loved it… and will hope for it’s happening again..We apologize to our friends for not calling him, not turning up for the get-together, late B’day wishes, and the list goes on….
There are very rare occasion when we really mean them…most of the time we want to get out of it by saying the Golden word “Sorry”.

I know many of u may not agree with me..but search u r self and find the truth , u will come to a conclusion ,then decide on this. U cannot ignore the fact that the word u utter the most in u r life time …mean nothing to u. Hello, Hi ,Thank u, Sorry this are facets of what u speak.

If u want to say Sorry to anyone than say it to u r self ..and Mean that..b’coz u r the only one who is not doing justice to this word.. Okie let me put it this way… “Say Sorry to Sorry “ for misusing it for so many years..

Hey Guys I’m not authoritative on this…this is just what I felt about it …”Sorry if I have hurt someone's Emotion, thoughts or feelings”. :) . I mean it...well now u r thinking??

Feeling for Bhool Bhulaiyaa

2007-10-26T10:33:00.000+05:30

AAaah…..a big pain… 3 hrs of continuous hammer, non- stop crap, a nightmare. Akshay Kumar was the only respite in the Mv and that too he came very late …just before the interval.. The Movie seems to me an endless drama of nonsense horror ,un laughable comedy ,a poor picturization and an horrible screenplay. I really don’t know what has gone wrong with Priyadarshan, where his Midas touch in comedy gone which we saw in Hera Pheri.

9 in the nite and it was raining heavily in Bangalore with coldness in the wind …and the city was almost drowned ..ppl staying here will know and feel the pain when it rains here… We(Myself , my Flat partner--Jha and their relatives) struggled to get the auto ..but finally someone less idiot among the lot of idiots(Autowalas) agreed to take us to the Destination(Forom) where we were scheduled to watch the 10 pm show of “Bhool Bhulaiyaa” in PVR. Nothing was going right for us ..the autowala charged us thrice the Fair, had problems in getting the tickets (no no…the tickets was already booked thru Net)..the pain was in getting the tickets from those crap machine by swiping the cards… aah..they never work when I try to use them…so had to follow the queue to the PVR counter ,where the guys in all blue with stars embedded in their waist coat gave me the tickets… I was very ecstatic once I got hold of the tickets…I don’t know why..probably the main reason will be b’coz this time I’ll take my seats before the MV start, as last time…I guess Jhonny Gaddar it was, I missed the tailors which are shown before the main FILM and a little initial part of the mv also…I regretted on that …as tailors are the 50% of u r paisa wasool.

But to my dismay..the movie started 15-20 minutes late…and they didn’t aired any tailors also…..AAAh…a pain in the head ,heart ,pocket took birth….then also I reconciled ..hoping that the casting song of the Movie will be ….Hare Raam Hare Raam(Bhool bHulaiya according to the track)..but no….any kind of luck if there was , that nite had deserted me….I don’t understand these ppl..why do they Put nice song in the End….

I tried to concentrate in the movie trying to have a grasp of the STORY….but no my efforts were all in vain…as it doesn’t had one..if anyone claims that the movie had a story then..it was my fault I guess…. Ok..chalo will go by the masses who says it had a story… Then I could only brief it as a Psyche thriller with horrible sense of humor…. One can say that Ramsay’s brother choice of horror movies was much better than this one..at least it had some nudity in it…But this so called horror movie in which all the gals…sorrryyyyy..Women were wearing Saris…uff…how could I even thought of watching this Movie…. Well that was b’coz of my love for Akshay…. He was the only person who did justice to his role …although a weak one……
Oh yes we were talking of the story...Shiney Ahuja was king who came back to India after his study in US..and yes he came along with his wife(Vidya Balan) and typical of Bollywood there was a gal (Amisha Patel)waiting in INdia all her life to get married to him...oh oh...same tragedy with Indian gals...There was a Mahal which was haunted only on the 3rd Floor...it was because of Shiney Ahuja's ancestor who performed some wrong deeds with a Nanchne wali(????)..and than her Soul(Aatama ) resided on that floor..As the MV progress i don't know how and why Shiney came to the conclusion that Amisha was mentally Sick...aah...but to our respite that marked the Entry of Akshay(Psychiatrist)..Then he went on to slove the mystery of the Bhoot Bangla...I Narate no more...as i lost track of the story mid way...Sorry...it was a "Bhulaiyaa"

CHARACTERS of the Movies..they were really “CHARACTERS”..same set of actors which feature in all Priyadarshan Movie….Paresh Rawal , Asrani and Rajapal Yadav were all wasted… and the Big thing was why why..??? Shiney Ahuja signed this Movie..he is too gud actor to do a role like this… The big and the most important role of the movie went to Vidya Balan…..hmmmm…I cant explain her role ..u guys have to go and c her in the MV…She was stale and expressionless ….doing the role of split personality…oh yes I missed on Amisha Patel(the star of KNPH) struggling to stay alive in Bollywood….by perfoming cameo/absurd roles,nad this MV was no exception..

After a long wait the Climax of the movie came…I was delighted…no no.. not on the climax It was illogical and indigestible…but on the sole fact that the movie was gone end.. And finally after a long climax ….it ended..and the much awaited song which is the new rage of the discs…some classify it as the new anthem started…… I was left with no energy to enjoy the song …so I left the theatre, marching myself out to face a new battle with the autowals , for my way back to flat..with slow humming track of “Hare Raam hare Raam…hare Krishna hare raam” sounding in the Background..and this song accompanied me back all the way to my flat ..until I settled into my bed under my warm Blanket….thinking ,watching the movie was a Real “Bhool”…

Feeling of having a Mentor(Guru).

2007-10-22T14:14:00.000+05:30

Few days back I was having a chat with Hemant ( friend) …the topic of discussion was why we r not focused in life ,what we need from life, why we can’t concentrate on a thing/work, why our mind keeps on travelling in vivid direction and always we have multi dimension things going thru our mind, may be Gals ,Work, Parents ,Friends, Finance, Cricket……and many more things. Then finally we came to the conclusion.. Do we need a Mentor or do we need to see a Psychiatrist . Aaah I guess both of us were going thru the same pain in life….well let’s not restrict this post to only two of us.. I think majority of people also have the same problem…those who don’t , are next to GOD …. The bottom line is Psychiatrist will take our money and would say to us only those things which are pleasing to our ears..and Mentor well they are semi god… to find a good , genuine, sensible mentor is also a TASK in itself just like finding GOD or a gem which u can treasure for the remaining part of u r life.

What is Mentor ????
Let's go back into History.....
“In the eighth century BC, the Greek writer Homer wrote an epic poem describing Odysseus's adventures during his 10-year voyage home after the Trojan War. While he was gone, he entrusted the care and education of his beloved son, Telemachus, to his faithful friend Mentor. Almost three thousand years later that man's name has come to mean a wise and trusted counselor.”

Now........
Mentor is a favorite teacher, parent, a wise and witty master, an insightful frnd, an experienced, seasoned Guide/Fellow colleague/ religious GURU. He could be anyone ranging from u r family , friends, colleagues, relatives. We need a mentor in life basically to achieve success, to foresee the righteous path in life ,following which we could attain happiness, wealth, glory, respect and above all the materialistic things which we desire so much in life.

The fact is that everyone needs a Mentor , I’m no exception in that I also need one. When I joined the new company(IT) I had a mentor, when I was young then Parents where my Mentor…..But now what I have…*confused mind…trying to achieve everything(that everything still is not defined for me) in life and sometimes end up getting nothing. Then I decided why can’t I be a Mentor to myself until I found one.

Then the big question comes... How can one be a Mentor to one self….??????
Anyone can go about in finding the answer to this.. by keeping himself/herself thru a period of observation(Psychiatrist Dialogue ..LOL).
The answer to this question also lies in u … There is a famous saying related to this I have read somewhere it goes like this “The paradox of you is you at your very best”.
I’m also looking for the answer to this question.. I have got a vague picture of this….but once it’s clear will do a post on this.
As if for now few truths(fundas as one may call)which will help u in finding a mentor within u r self… First and foremost count on all your weakness as u r Strong points. Never ever at any phase in u r life question u r decision ..if u start doing that then u will end up under the rubbles and u r life will become HELL. Control u r Emotions be in tune with u r emotions ,understand u r Feelings try to grab what they are telling. These things basically act as a Barometer to u r Heart ,u r Mind, u r Soul. Knowledge it’s the key…try to grasp and learn everything that life teaches u. U r experiences, u r day to day life occurrences are u r best Teachers..Never ignore them try to get everything positive/negative from it… Bollywood says “Life is u r best teacher”.

Well I was thing that there are so many consultant firm for jobs, for investments , for finance, for marriage, for loans…why don’t we have anything like Find Mentor firm . Every day we get a call from some credit card company or any job portal or investment firm that do we need a card, do we need a job, do we need an investment plan..why don’t we have a Mentor firm(where we will get gud mentors..and one can hire mentor from that firm) from where people will call us and ask whether we need a Mentor or not.

* “Confused state of mind - can be said as the nature of creation flowing thru us..never stagnant, always changing, one building to some new creation”

Feeling for No Smoking Music and the making of it…

2007-10-19T11:30:00.001+05:30

A master piece …I don’t know whether I will do justice in reviewing the music of NO Smoking as all big shot (Reviewers and Critics)of the Bollywood industry already had a go on this. But no offence to any of them as this Blog is completely on what I feel..
I feel awesome ,I feel that it has taken my heart out ,I go bizarre, every time I listen to the songs… in fact it has increased my number of CIG, but that in no case has deterred me in listening to the songs. A must album for all the smokers community. Well I’m not skeptical on this..A treat for all musical lovers.

No Smoking – Directed by Anurag Kashyap(Black Friday fame) from the house of Kumar Mangat and Vishal Bhardwaj(Omkara Fame),starring John Abraham and Ayesha Takia is the much awaited movie from my side, of the year ‘07. Music..aaah by Vishal Bhardwaj and lyrics by Gulzar(they don’t need any introduction I guess).

Well first start with director …Anurag Kashyap--He is the man who believes in himself and let the work speaks for itself..He knows that making cinema is now commercialized and he excepts the fact that only SEX and SRK sells in this industry that’s why he approached SRK with the script but typical of any man on the pedestal of his career refused to take the RISK and said no..Well SRK will never go out of the Raj’s and Johar’s Lobby. Well for him I can only say..SRK u missed out on this…this movie would have given new dimension to u r acting fame. This story (making of NO Smoking)what I have posted is only a brief part of the struggle Mr. Kashyap had to face .For an elaborate detail of his pain taking.. look in to this url (http://www.passionforcinema.com/no-smoking-8-years-in-the-making/ ). So after slipping thru all grades of despondency(mind u 8 years) he found John and then Vishal. A whole heartedly thanks to these people.

Imagine of the man ,imagine of his guts, imagine of his creativity ,imagine of his love for cinema, imagine of his truthfulness and honesty that he dared to make a movie on the subject of Smoking and then went on to have a soundtrack completely on smoking.

Let’s dig the gold(Songs)

“Jab bhi Cigarette” cool ,amazing, excellent lyrics and music are like dew drops on it…Enhancing the beauty of the song….Believe me or not this song will rule all the discotheques . The opening of the song is amazing ,typically reflects the lungs of a smoker.

"Hey I wana tell u about this thing, There's a stick called Cigarette, Phir talabh talabh hai talabh talbah, Besabh besabh phir talabh hai talbah ,Shaam hone lagi hai,-2 Laal hone lagi hai,-2"

Jab bhi Cigarette jalti hai main jalta hun...

Gulzar has done an amazing job with the lyrics and Adnan Sami has sung it so well(the jazz version)…I hope Anu mallik would be getting what Adnan his throwing.. LOL. Adnan is a terrific singer no doubt in that..he has his own class and standards and he abides by them, even increase those standards from time to time. Get High and feel the mood of the song..Look at this piece of lyrics a class act ,true work of magic with words..

Lambe dhaage dhuen ke
Saans silne lage hain
Pyaas udhti hui lagi
Honth chhilne lage hain

Shaam hone lagi hai Laal hone lagi hai.

Now when Sunidhi Chauhan get’s his turn ..the jazz is turned to the trance..but she has done full justice to the song..a typical foot tapping trance number..the meaning ,the feel ,the lyrics all remain the same . Class Act by Vishal, he has raised the bar of music for Bollywood..Now all the HRs and Anus will no that their slow,sweet humming sounds will be hard to sell now .
Video -- Supermodel Jesse Randhawa does full justice to the song by lip-syncing into booming male baritones of Adnan Sami.

“Phoonk De”—All ready climbing the charts. Reviewed by masses as the best song of the album.

Hayaat phoonk de
Hawaas phoonk de
Saans se sila hua libaas phoonk de
Jab nasa toota haiiiiii...kitne tukde gire hain..
Hosh chunne lage humh
Humbhi kya sir phire hain
Lab be jal rahi hai woh baat phoonk de

Both Rekha Bharadwaj(“Namak ishq ka” fame) and Sukhwinder("Chaiya chaiya" fame) has sung the song majestically in their own style. Rekha has given the feminine nasal touch to the song which makes it a commercial success. Sukhwinder hand on the other version of the song is pacy and he tries to give it classy touch typical of him. The lyrics in both the version are different but reflect the same state of a smoker.

Ghoonth ghoonth jal raha hun ,Pi raha hun patiyaan,Aankhn hain dhuan dhuan,naam hai sari batiyaan… Aas paas kuch nai..ji udas hai jara ..

This a commercial song that’s why Anurag has Bipasa doing the ITEM number. Attract Crowd.Treat for the front benchers .

"Kash Laga"--After this two classic version of the song comes one with a sufi touch. Haven’t heard much of this. But three maestro comes together in the song-Sukhwinder, Daler and Vishal. The lyrics by Gulzar is mesmerisng in this …especially these lines…

” Jalti hain tanhayeeinya ,taapi hai raat raat jag jag ke, urti hain zingariyaan ,gucche hain laal lall gili aag ke”

Then comes the Base lyrics which are repeated a lot in the song

Ye jahaan faani hai,Bulbula hai paani hai, Bulbulon mein rukna kya Paaniyon pe behta jaa

Listen to this song it will give u a soothing feeling ,u will forget all u r pain for that moment. Tremendous work by Vishal in creating such a music.

“Ash Tray”---This is my favorite.. of all the songs. Hard to find why I like this the most but it has something in it although all other songs are much better than this ,both music n lyrics wise but still this song has something in it which force me to listen it repeatedly . The new comer Deva Sen Gupta has done full justice to the song, sometimes his voice echo in my ears just like Jaggit Sings voice..especially when he enchant those words..Dhuan Dhuan..they haunt me….

The starting of the song is very strong , meaningful ,soulful and haunting

“Bhaut se aadhe bhuje hue din padhe hain ishme Bhaut se aadhi jali raatein gir padi hain ishme Ash tray bharti ja rahi hai”

Na haath daalo Ki waqt se chheele hue lamhon ki raakh Garam hai Waqt se chheleey hue lamhon ki raat narm hai

And the song finishes on the sad note as the “Ash tray bhar Chuki hain”

One can say after a long time u have soulful, meaningful kind of a soundtrack to listen to don’t miss this opportunity beg. steal, buy, download,copy from u r friends and relish it. Great work done by the trio’s in creating such a soundtrack for an offbeat subject like Smoking. After a long time we have a album in which there is no song for love,song for “toota dil” and blah blah for which Bollywood is famous. I hope and wish Anurag that his most unconventional venture “No Smoking ” is commercially a hit ,which will encourage and force them(Commercial directors & producers) to make movies like this.

Will end the post here as the “Post bharti ja rahi hai.”

Write what u feel

2007-10-18T12:38:00.004+05:30

Feel..Feel…Feeling…and again Feelings which fill the most part of u r life ,mind, the body, the Soul. Every Year Everyday Every Hour Every Minutes Every Second u feel differently …these feelings are overwritten by a set of other feelings and this process continues for Ever. Feelings ?? wat is this? Dictionary meaning goes as this ----Emotional or moral sensitivity (especially in relation to personal principles or dignity).U watch a movie u feel something, u saw a hot gal passing by u instantly has a feeling generated within u ,feeling of frustration, feeling of envy and a feeling that the Guy with him is her brother…ho ho…and lots of other felling…Feeling when the manager comes to u r desk..feeling of being lost in the vast world of IT industry and many more of those which are specific to respective person. Feeling cannot be generalized. It’s an output generated by the BRAIN taking inputs from different part of u r bodies.

Feelings u have for someone/something any kind negative/positive/neutral. Feeling has no domain or range .Anything to Everything happening in life generates a feeling.. Some feelings surpasses without getting any kind of notice from u and Some stays there to haunt u or to tingle u with pleasure…
Don’t put Feeling n Thought on the same plate as Thoughts are generated from Feeling. Both a part of a certain hierarchy which are certainly defined by us.

Writing about your feelings improves immune system.

"Pen and paper may be a powerful medical treatment. In a new study by Harvard University cancer patients who wrote about their feelings for 30 minutes a day experienced improvements in immune-system function and reported fewer symptoms. Journaling quells stress and helps increase coping mechanisms, say the researchers. "

FEELINGS is what keep everyone together. Why then in today's world do we deny our feelings. Is it because it is considered 'ultra-cool' to hide them? I see people around me with deadpan faces carrying their laptops, emotionless going about their daily chores either frustrated by the work or Bangalore traffic...So guys love u r feelings…Never try to hide them ,don’t be a traitor to them and write it down ,if not for others than for u r self at least.. That will ease u r pain of surviving in this world.